Though, romance led to making love, didn’t it? I leaned down to kiss him again when an angry buzz that came from his pocket made him tense. He fumbled a hand into his coat as I let him go and his face brightened when he looked at the screen.
He answered the call. “Aspen, hi!”
I watched him, unable to look at anything else. My stomach went warm with a jittery sensation as he spoke animatedly to Aspen, nodding his head even though Aspen couldn’t see it. His happiness was energetic and full of an innocence I didn’t expect to see in Fallon, but it made sense. He hadn’t been in the game long enough for it to battle harden him. I hoped it never did. He deserved to live this kind of life, without the blood on his hands, but I knew I was wishing for something that would never happen. He was a Maher and technically still training with us. One way or another he would kill more men, soon enough, and after a while he would see life in a new light.
“You are?” His eyes widened and he slapped me excitedly on the arm. “Fuck yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I can’t wait to see you. I miss you so much.” He listened to what Aspen said and hummed in answer. “Okay. Well, we’ll see you tomorrow. Yep. Good night, love you.” He ended the call and grinned at me. “They’re coming home tomorrow.”
“The job’s done, then?” I couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.
“Yep! Joaquin is dead.” He pumped his fist in the air. “It’ll be so good to have them home.”
“Ye say that now but wait until Cillian’s got ye training.” I chuckled when he groaned. He would love having Cillian home, too, and as much as he complained, he enjoyed the hard work. Getting back into MMA was his dream. I thought about asking him about the dog again but left the topic alone for another time. This was a nice night, and I didn’t want him angry at me.
“We should celebrate.” His gaze twinkled. “You and me, in the car. I’ll give you a blowjob.”
I shook my head.
He pouted.
“No, rabbit. We’re going home, and I’ll make love to ye in the bed, like ye would in a real relationship because that’s what we are—real. And I want to show ye that soft can feel good, too.”
“As long as we’re not using a titanium cock ring.” He rested his forehead on my shoulder and laughed harder than I’d expected him to this early after it happened, but it made me grin, too. The guilt was still swarming inside me like angry bees, but it was slowly getting better, especially since Fallon had begun to see the funny side of it.
“No cock rings for a while,” I murmured. Or ever. But I had a feeling that when the fear was gone, he would want to try again with a ring made from a different kind of material.
“Then what are we waiting here for? Let’s go.” He went to stand, but I grabbed his arm and yanked him back down.
Pointing at his food, I grinned. “Eat and tell me about yer fighting first. Then I’ll take ye home and make love to ye.”
He pouted but did as he was told. Talking about fighting made him happy, and all I could do was watch as he waved his hands and chopsticks around as he told me story after story about his MMA career. I listened, intrigued. He didn’t jump into different topics like Vail did, and it was much easier to keep up with his chatting, and I enjoyed every second. But once I got him home, I knew I was going to appreciate that just as much.
15
FALLON
“So,that’s when my cousin Halston hauls off and punches Grady. Of course, Padraig was pissed off, and he had to drag his gun out to wave it around.”
“And what was yer ma doing?” Rowen asked as he cut an appalled look at me while he pulled the Spyder into the driveway of our house. The garage door went up as he blindly fumbled and poked at the remote hooked to the visor. I wanted to stop talking because I’d been bullshitting a lot on the way back while my stomach was a tangle of nerves, but much like Vail when he got going, I had trouble reining it in. Talking was better than the best comfort food.
“Oh, she was losing it. This all started because she wanted her baking dish back from my aunt, which shouldn’t have been anything serious, but my family never met an argument they didn’t want to have. Halston insisted his mom had never received the shepherd’s pie, since he hadn’t eaten it. He left with a bloody nose. Grady had a black eye. Mom screamed at Padraig never to have a gun out in her presence again. It was a big mess.” I laughed because even though I was feeling off, it was still funny. I’d been nine or ten. I couldn’t remember which.
“Then what happened?” Rowen asked faintly as he put the car in Park before shutting off the engine.
I snickered. “The next day Aunt Clare sent over the baking dish. Over the next week a new one got delivered every single day until Mom had so many they wouldn’t fit in the cupboard, and then she was furious aboutthat. Aunt Clare and Halston never came to the holidays at our house again. She’s mom’s sister and she stopped speaking to her entirely.”
Rowen shook his head, lips pursed. He brushed a hand through his beard as if he needed something to do while he sat there. “Yer family’s almost as bad as Cillian’s.”
Shrugging, I smirked at him. “Yeah, well, at least we have something in common. Shitty relatives.”
“Not what I would’ve chosen,” he said with a sigh as he leaned back against the seat. He watched me, and my stomach heated while my fingers tapped on my thighs. The air was too thick to breathe, and somehow the stars outside were pressing down on the house. It was a bizarre sensation, as if the entire universe was weighing on me.
It was good and bad.
Rowen took my hand and brought it up to his mouth. He winked and brushed his lips along the back of my wrist. “Shall we go inside and head upstairs?” he asked softly, interest glowing in his bright eyes.
Shivering, I didn’t say anything or nod or shake my head. I didn’t feel as if I could move. Normally with things like this Cillian just told me what to do, and Aspen was kind of the same way. Vail was even more insistent with what he wanted and how he wanted it—most of the time—but honestly, no matter what we did together—him fucking me or me fucking him—I usually felt as if I was being swept up in a sexy tornado.
This was so deliberate, and I was expected to make choices.
