“You should visit Father Shay. Would he be able to see you tonight?” Vail whispered in my ear, breath tickling my sensitive skin. “You need reassurance from someone you trust.”
“I trust ye. I love ye, angel.” I kissed his cheek, and he chuckled.
“I know, but you believe in God, which has caused all sorts of crises throughout history, most of them horrific. I don’t understand it, but I love you, too, and if it makes you feel better, then I supportyou. Go see Father Shay.” He pulled back and his gaze jumped from me to Fallon as he sighed. “I once knew this guy who was religious. Catholic. He was so—” He looked at me again and winced. “Never mind. That doesn’t matter right now.” He placed his hands on my chest and pushed me gently. “Go. You need it.”
My chest grew light, and I grabbed his face, kissing him softly in appreciation. Cillian never understood my love for God. He would often make fun of me for going to church, but he always dropped me off at the front steps when I needed it the most. And now Vail knew when I needed the church, too. There was something special about loving someone who didn’t believe but supported me.
I left Vail to keep Fallon company and grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter, where I’d tossed them when we’d first gotten home. I went to the garage and got into my Lexus while texting Father Shay to see if he would meet me at the church. He only lived around the corner, but it would take me an hour and a half or more to get there from here.
He messaged me a few minutes later.
Father Shay: I can be there. Let me know when you’re close.
I smiled and sent him a thumbs-up.
It was good to have Father Shay at my beck and call, but I knew he was paid well by Sloan to be there. Shay was as much a Company man as the rest of us.
I turned up the music and focused on the drive. By the time I hit the city, I was eager for devout advice and ready to confess my sins. I texted Father Shay again to let him know I was nearly there, and when I arrived, his car was parked in front of the church and the lights were on inside. The tall stained glass window of Jesus stared down at me, judging me with all-knowing eyes.
I got out of the car and bounded up the steps, then opened the arched wooden door. After I was inside, I turned the lock like I always did. Father Shay was sitting in the second row of pews, his head bowed and hands clasped in prayer. He was dressed in casual clothes, a simple white shirt and jeans, and his jacket hung over the back of the pew.
When I sat beside him, he glanced at me and smiled, finishing his prayer with the sign of the cross.
“Rowen.” He tilted his head, his dark hair fluffier than I was used to seeing. His black-rimmed glasses were notably missing tonight. His face was softer, too, with fewer stress lines marring his handsome features. There was something different about him, though. I couldn’t figure out what. Then it hit me—I’d never seen him without his white collar. “Tell me what’s bothering you tonight.”
So many things were going through my head, and I couldn’t put them into words, especially ones Father Shay would understand. He’d already told me about his disapproval of my relationship with Vail. He’d even suggested Vail wascheatingon me by being with the other three guys. I’d brushed off his comments, since I’d known what I wanted—whoI wanted. Usually, I avoided talking about relationships with Father Shay because I was well aware of his views. But today... I needed his guidance.
“I’ve come to care about another man, Father.” The words were like sandpaper in my throat and I swallowed, desperate to get rid of the dryness. I interlocked my fingers in my lap and stared at the by-altar and the burning candles others had lit throughout the evening. Father Shay wasn’t one to blow the flames out because he’d told me once it ruined the prayers. “A man who lives with us. Fallon. Ye remember him?”
“I do.” Father Shay cleared his throat. “Tell me how this happened. You told me that you only cared about Vail in your relationship predicament.”
“I know I told ye that, and I believed it at the time. But Fallon’s somethin’ else, if I’m being honest with ye. He’s funny and smarter than I gave him credit for. He’s also quite charming, the kind of charisma that gets him into trouble. But he’s been showing attention to me lately, and I tried hard to ignore it, but I can’t.” I frowned at the crucifix hanging at the front of the church. “He got hurt today, and I was protective over him. Worried. Angry at meself, too, because it was partly me fault.”
Father Shay stayed silent, which was unusual, but I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see the disappointment.
“He makes me heart flutter.” I chuckled. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“I know Fallon Maher,” Father Shay finally whispered. “But I’ve seen him, Rowen, and flirting is what he does. He lures men into believing he feels something for them to get what he wants.”
I tensed, a violent and fiery anger raging through me. “He’s not like that anymore. He only flirts with us.”
“A tiger doesn’t change his stripes, Rowen.” There was a strange tone in his voice, and I finally glanced at him, frowning. He was staring at the crucifix like I’d been, but his gaze was distant. “He would sooner break your heart than give you what you need.”
“Ye don’t know him like I do,” I argued, fury growing hot and fierce. My hands curled into fists on my thighs. “He’s a good person who only wants to be loved.”
“Is he? Or do you merely want to believe that?”
It felt like we were having two different conversations, and any comfort I used to get from talking to him wasn’t happening this time. Being away from Fallon after he’d been to the hospital made me antsy to get home. I wanted to snuggle with Vail and Fallon and hold them close, not listen to Father Shay’s wandering musings. The religious part of me that searched for redemption was quiet and every other part wished I’d never left home.
I sighed. “I care very much for him, Father, and I’m sorry that ye don’t agree with gay relationships, but it is what it is. I can still be a man of God and love two men as well.”
Father Shay finally shot me a look of surprise. “Can you?”
I narrowed my eyes at the timid question. It was as if he was askingmefor guidance.
“I—”
The sound of the door lock being turned had me swinging around to look at the entrance. The man who stepped through held keys that I assumed were for the church. He wasn’t anyone I knew and the various tattoos on his arms were striking. He wasn’t a priest or clergy as far as I could tell.
