I went back to staring at Fallon. “He’s so beautiful. I hate the thought of his nose being broken. Cuts on his skin. Teeth missing. He’s been very lucky. You know, I remember a professional wrestler who had mental health issues after years of head trauma. Do you know who I’m talking about? He got beat up all the time, and one day he took a gun and murdered his family and himself. The news said it was from his years wrestling. It made him have so many problems that he snapped. What if that happens to our Fallon? What if he’s fine for now, then years later he’s hurt in a way we can’t see and we can’t help?” I sucked in a deep breath to continue, but Rowen cupped my chin, turning my head until I blinked up into his eyes.
“Love, is this the only thing eating ye? Ye’re not....” He took a deep breath. “Ye know, when we first got together, I told ye I was a one-man bloke, and I was fine with our arrangement. Ye with the others and me, and me only for ye. If ye’re not all right with me starting something with Fallon—”
“Oh.” I snickered and shook my head. “That’s not bugging me.”
He let out a long breath that reminded me of a balloon deflating, and I laughed harder while trying not to disturb Fallon.
Rowen rested his hand on his chest over his heart. “Thank Jesus himself because I’m past the point where I’d be disappointed to tell Fallon we couldn’t move forward with our....”
“Relationship?” I murmured and smiled, genuine happiness worming through me. “You think I would get jealous?”
He shrugged. “I did promise to belong to ye.”
Humming, I wriggled down to get more comfortable on the pillows and beamed at Rowen when he joined me, sliding under the blankets. His strong arms slipped around me and brought a relaxation to my body that I hadn’t realized I needed.
“Oh, angel, ye’re wound up. What’s wrong? Is it Aspen and Cillian being away, love?” He kissed my temple.
I shrugged. “In part. That’s going to have my anxiety running on high gear until they’re home. I hate them being gone,” I whispered.
He grunted. “It’s unpleasant. I miss them more than I thought I would.” A furrow formed between his eyebrows and he sighed. “Cillian is a wanker, but I like to know he’s all right and be on hand to help him.”
Smiling, I elbowed Rowen, and he chuckled.
“I’m just worried about Fallon.” I grimaced. “Part of me didn’t expect the doctor to clear him. And I feel awful about that. I was planning to come home this evening and console him in every way I could think to do it.” I flashed Rowen a smile and felt like an asshole. “But he’s cleared to fight. And now.... Now, I wish he wasn’t,” I whispered.
Rowen blew out a long breath and nodded. “I know the feeling.”
“But I wouldn’t want him to be unhappy,” I said in a rush, glancing at Fallon. He was warm and safe in my arms, and it was ridiculous to think that I could do anything to protect him, but I wanted to use my body to keep other people from hitting him. Jump in front of the kicks and punches and make everyone leave him alone. “I just hate the thought.”
“Aye, I know.” Rowen sighed. He gave me a stern look that had irritation crawling up my spine. “But it’s his choice. As long as he’s doing all he can to stay healthy, we must support him.”
Huffing, I shook my head. “I know that, Rowen. You don’t have to talk to me like I’m a kid.”
He shrugged and that actually pissed me off because he knew damned well I hated being treated as if I didn’t have the ability to be reasonable.
“Fallon might feel fine now, but what about when he’s your age, or worse, mine? Or fifty? Or seventy? He’s not going to be able to move. He might get awful arthritis from fighting. It’s gotta be hard on your body. He has no idea what he’s doing,” I said softly.
Rowen lowered his chin and stared at me. “Ye hate it when I tell ye how to act because ye’ve had people do it all yer life. I know what gets under yer skin, love.”
I was still irritated, but I hated feeling angry at Rowen, so I bit the tip of my tongue instead of arguing with him.
“What are ye doing right now? Ye’re acting like he can’t calculate his own risks.”
Guilt slammed me and I cuddled Fallon closer. “But... .” I chuckled and felt terrible. “But this is different.”
“Why?” he asked, not unkindly, but tears prickled the corners of my eyes.
“Because I love him and don’t want him to get hurt.”
Rowen hugged me.
Fallon rolled toward me, squeezing his arms around my middle. “I’ll be real careful. Don’t worry,” he mumbled.
I groaned. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Most of it.”
Pressing kisses all over his face, I held him closer. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’m just—”
