Wick:I love you and I’m scared this is over.
I hit Send.
There was no reply. I laid my phone on the pillow next to mine and stared at it, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything, but eventually I turned out the light beside the bed. I’d ruined things at work, but not because we’d gotten caught in a smutty situation—I’d fucked up on a personal level. Maurice was right in the end, and I was going to lose him at the office and in my life.
Hours passed as I stared into the darkness of my room. I must’ve snoozed because sometime later I felt arms slide around my waist and I woke. A strong, comfortable body snuggled up to my back, and a million pounds were lifted off my chest when warm lips pressed against the nape of my neck.
“I love you, too.”
My body relaxed and began to ache. I didn’t know how long I’d been stressed and clenching my muscles, but letting go was painful. “Oh God, I love you so much.”
“Why did you act that way?” he asked. Time passed. He hugged me and nudged his chin against my shoulder.
“You looked upset.” The darkness hid my embarrassment, and I was fine with that, but I was also worried I was missing clues to how Maurice was feeling. I tried to roll over, but he stopped me by squeezing me tight.
“And you were jealous.”
I shrugged. “Are you going back to him?” My throat burned and clearing it did nothing to make me feel better.
He sighed. “You don’t trust me. Why?”
“I do.”
“No—” He brushed a kiss under my ear. “—you don’t.”
I rubbed my hands over his on my stomach. “People always leave. My work puts them off, or my life. I thought at least you were okay with those things.”
“I am.” He rested his chin on my shoulder again, and I couldn’t tell if he was trying to see my face or not.
I leaned back against him. “You want me to trust you, but you have to trust me, too. What happened with Matt was a bad situation. Are you keeping me?”
Maurice slid his hand down and rubbed it low on my belly. His fingertips on my bare skin were a comfort and also had my body instantly reacting in other ways. I had no idea what he was truly thinking. While I rolled to face Maurice, I thought furiously, but in the end, all I did was burrow against him and nestle my face in the crook of his neck.
“I needed to hear what Matt had to say. Some things when we were dating make more sense to me now. I’m still not okay with him, but....”
“What did he say?” Curiosity burned in me. Had he come up with some excuse that would make Maurice take him back?
“It’s his business.”
I tried not to stiffen in his grasp but couldn’t help it.
He sighed and rubbed my back. “Okay. Fuck it. Fine.” He pressed a kiss to my hair that had me feeling a little better. “Around the time he tried to make me gain weight, he was diagnosed with cancer. He thought he was going to die, or worried he would, and didn’t want to leave the world all alone. He had a brain tumor and it scared him.”
“Oh.” None of that made me feel bad for him. I hated him. Was I a terrible person?
Maurice kissed my cheek. “Rather than tell me or talk about it, he kept the news under wraps. He was worried I was working out to leave him and sabotaged me by buying all the desserts—and he didn’t care that I was starting to get unhealthy, he just didn’t want me to move on. It took him a long time to come to terms with what he’d done. I didnotforgive him, but I heard him out.”
I leaned back, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead that had me melting. “You didn’t?”
“No.” He firmly cupped my cheek, and I leaned into the touch. “I told him I was very happy he beat his cancer, but his actions hurt me more than he could know. I needed to say those words to him.”
Guilt tore at my mind. I felt bad that I’d stood in the way of Maurice getting closure, but I also still wished that he’d come home with me Friday night. Maybe if I’d simply sat at the table and sipped my beer, rather than storming around like a teenager, this wouldn’t have happened. I sighed. “I’m sorry that I upset you, but I still think you should’ve left with me. How could I be fine with you talking to the man who abused you? What he did was wrong in a lot of ways.”
Maurice moved around until his eyes glittered in the darkness and I could tell he was studying my face. “The thing is, I know what Matt did to me because I lived it. I also know you wanted to protect me, but you made me feel like you don’t trust my judgment.”
I snuggled in closer to him. “I’m sorry. You know I trust you, right?”
“At work, sure.” He chuckled, but it didn’t sound happy.
