But where was Ari? I wasn’t worried for Ari, more about what he might choose to do if he was upset, and I drove around for a while, but when it started to get dark I turned the truck toward home. He knew where I lived and would find me when he was ready. My heart nearly beat out of my chest, and I had to pull over twice on the way home to close my eyes and take deep breaths. I couldn’t stand the sensations running through me. Eventually I made it back to my house.
But Ari didn’t come home that night.
I was furious Monday morning when I woke up alone.
Monday night came and went with no sign of him, and I went from angry to scared. What if he was in jail? Had he killed someone and been caught?
Tuesday morning I half hoped I would roll over in bed to find him snuggled up against me, but he wasn’t there. I dragged myself through work, and even Paxton seemed concerned about me.
“Is your mother all right?” he asked while we were sitting in our cruiser, slurping coffee.
“Fine,” I mumbled, which was true, as far as I knew.
“Relationship troubles?” He gave me a goofy grin.
“Yeah. Took Ari to meet my mom and she was rude as fuck to him.”
Paxton winced. “Bloody hell, that’s too bad. You going to try to fix it between them?”
I shrugged, and at least Paxton didn’t ask me any more questions after that. The shift flew by because crime never took a day off in New Gothenburg.
I fell back into old rituals easily enough, and that evening I was in the living room with a beer in my hand, not really watching the television, when someone knocked on the front door. I glanced at the dark windows and set the beer down on the coffee table as my heart thudded and felt like it had swelled to the size of a cannonball. I rushed to the front door, then felt stupid but excited when I yanked it open. Relief, unlike anything I’d ever felt in my life, nearly knocked me off my feet.
Ari stood on the front porch with his shoulders slumped and his hands jammed into his pockets. I opened the screen door, and he shot into the house, knocking against my chest. He made a terrible expression—all bared teeth—before he nuzzled his face against my neck.
My skin ran hot, then cold, and back again. I was livid he’d made me spend time worrying about him, but I hugged him close anyway because I wanted him pressed against my body more than I wanted to yell at him. When he tilted his chin toward me, I covered his mouth with mine. The softness and warm heat of his kiss sent me spiraling into bliss. I ran my hand through his hair and it was clean and shiny. I took a deep whiff of him, and he smelled fresh. When I backed off enough to stare down at him while he wrapped his arms around me and clung, I noted he had on clothes I’d never seen, which were also clean.
Jealousy slammed through me. “Where have you been?” I gripped his hair in my hand until it had to hurt, and he hissed as I jerked his head back, giving him no choice except to look me in the eye.
“I want to kill your mother,” he whispered and his brows furrowed. “No one should talk to you like that. Let me do it, Master. I want to slice her open.”
“Where were you?” I shook him.
“I didn’t kill her,” he said in a rush. “I slept in a park and showered at a truck stop.” The silence that hung between us was heavy, and he shifted from foot to foot while he scrabbled his hands along my chest until he had two fistfuls of my T-shirt.
“Did you let someone fuck you?” I wasn’t sure if the emotion tearing through me had a name, but I hated it—I fucking hated all this—and I never wanted to wonder where he was again.
“No, Master. I didn’t want you to decide you didn’t want me. There’s a man who likes me and offers me money and favors without sex. I wouldn’t betray you like that. I want you to keep me. I don’t want you to hate me.”
I slammed my mouth over his, and he whimpered and snuggled deeper into my embrace. I didn’t say it out loud, but he could’ve fucked twenty men and I’d still want him—I just would’ve needed to see him rip out their hearts before I was happy again. “You can’t kill my mother. I.... I’m sorry I can’t give you that. You deserve it.”
He pulled away and scowled at me, and I took him by the hand and dragged him up the stairs. He yanked back as I approached the bedroom, but I wrapped an arm around his waist and shoved him inside, and then I kept pushing until he bounced on the bed and scrambled around so that he was on his back. His legs were spread and his chest heaved. I couldn’t stop staring at his flushed face.Fuck, he’s handsome.
“This is where you belong at night.” I crawled onto the bed, settling all my weight on him. “If you’re not here when I am ready to go to sleep, you will be punished, unless I sent you out for some reason. You’re mine, and you won’t disappear without a word again. Do youunderstand?” I was yelling by the time I was done, but he only hugged me and nodded.
I tipped his chin up and kissed him, punishing him with my teeth. I bit at his bottom lip until it was swollen, and he was whimpering and pressing his hard-on against my thigh.
“Master, please let me kill her. I’ve been thinking about it for days.” He gave me a pained wince, and I felt awful for him. I understood. I wanted to let him go around murdering anyone who got under his skin because he needed it like some people needed to breathe. But I couldn’t. I’d never wanted so badly to indulge someone.
“No. If you want a life with me, you can’t kill the people around me. You have to be careful, do you understand? Use your head. Be smart. I won’t let you get caught.”
He made an awful sound and I understood he needed death—it was terrible and wonderful all at the same time. I kissed him and pushed down his sweatpants and it was pure bliss to wrap my hand around his needy cock. I couldn’t stop kissing him as I fumbled for the lube.
Ari opened my pants, and I slicked my cock fast, not using nearly enough. I had to stop and wait for him to kick off his sneakers and he only got one leg of the sweatpants off before I lifted his thighs around my waist, and he hissed as I shoved brutally into his body until I bottomed out. He wrapped his limbs tightly around me, as if he was begging me to forgive him with his entire body.
“Tell me you understand where you belong.”
“Here, Master, here. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he whispered and buried his face against my neck. He nipped at my skin hard enough to draw blood, but I didn’t mind. The pain sent a thrilling little zing to my balls that pulsed there.
