“Are you drunk?” I closed the door and stalked over to him, dragging him out of Phoenix’s hold. I stared him down, assessing the redness in his hazel eyes and the wobble in his stance. His blond hair was stuck to his forehead with the sweat gleaming on his skin, and his cheeks were flushed a deep red that went well past normal. I’d never seen him this way—shirt wrinkled and belt half undone—and it had me worried. “You didn’t drive, did you?”
“I didn’t! That would’ve been stupid.” Jericho pushed my chest, glaring, or at least, making an attempt. This wasn’t the man I was used to because the Jericho I knew was composed and intelligent. He never drank before coming to my house for dinner. “I took an Uber.”
He stumbled past the coffee table and fell onto the small couch with a grunt, and after kicking his leg over the arm at the end, he closed his eyes, and in seconds his snores filled the room. I’d never seen anyone fall asleep so quickly, but Jericho was past the point of smashed. There’d never been a time in our friendship I could remember him like this—he had a rational head on his shoulders and drinking away problems wasn’t his thing. I didn’t think so, anyway. What had Toma done to him?
“Is he...?” Phoenix sidled up next to me, touching my arm gently as he snuggled up against my side. His warmth was a comfort that had the tenseness in my shoulders slipping away. “He’s not okay, Daddy.”
“I know, boy. Can you get him a blanket?”
He nodded and left me to head to the linen closet. I went over to Jericho and crouched beside his head, studying the dark bags under his eyes and the dried streaks down his cheeks. The heavy smell of booze made my gut churn, a deep desire forone sipat the tip of my tongue, like a long-lost friend. I’d fought hard to keep off the liquor and I wasn’t going to start now, especially not after seeing Jericho like this.
I brushed a hand over his head and sighed. “What has he done to you, Jay?” I was half tempted to call Toma and tell him off, but then Toma would know Jericho was here, and I wouldn’t put it past him to come and try to take him. No, that wasn’t going to happen. I was going to keep Jericho as far away from Toma as possible.
Phoenix came out of the hallway with a red blanket and gently draped it over Jericho, straightening it until the fluffy fabric covered him from head to toe. He folded the blanket back to take off Jericho’s boots before laying it down again.
I stood and smiled in gratitude, then leaned down to kiss him on the lips. “Good boy. You did a wonderful job.”
Phoenix beamed at me, eyes glittering. “Thank you, Daddy. I care about him.”
“I know you do. So do I.” Giving Jericho a sad glance, I sighed.
There wasn’t much I could do while he was drunk and sleeping. I’d find out in the morning if he took his own advice and would talk about it. Probably not, though. Toma was the only topic Jericho avoided.
I wrapped my arm around Phoenix’s shoulders. “Let’s go to bed, boy. I don’t think I can eat now.”
Phoenix shrugged. “I already ate too much today. We could put everything away and have it for lunch tomorrow.”
He yawned, and I laughed as I led him into the kitchen. We were fast at getting everything cleaned up, and when we were done, I slung my arm over his shoulders and urged him toward the bedroom. Sadness hit me when I glanced at Jericho one last time as we entered the hallway, and then I couldn’t see him anymore.
Phoenix wriggled as we entered my room, and he turned to head toward the futon against the wall to the left, but I grabbed his hand before he could get any closer to it. Seeing Jericho aching to the point that he’d hurt himself with alcohol, because he couldn’t be with the man he truly loved, was horrible... and I knew exactly how he felt. I understood the emotions that drove those dark urges to drink until oblivion took over.
Was I thinking about Phoenix the wrong way? What if he wasn’t the gateway to my addictions but instead offered love and joy that would give me a reason to be the good man I’d been striving to become for years? I felt flattened by the thoughts that swirled in my mind as a future I’d never honestly considered suddenly felt possible.
Phoenix stared up at me. My words caught in my throat. I couldn’t push him, I didn’t want to, but something stirred in me, a desire to have him close.
“Sleep with me tonight.”
His eyes widened and grew misty, and a smile like nothing I’d ever seen from him fluttered across his mouth in a curve that had me licking my lips. “You want me beside you, Daddy?”
“Yes.” I didn’t second-guess myself—I couldn’t. The right thing to do would be to stay away from the temptation, because sex could easily lead to alcohol and my downfall—What if I’m wrong about my ability to control myself?—but Phoenix had spent more than half a year with me. He’d flourished and grown and never pushed. He made me... happy.
He jumped at me, and I grabbed him with a laugh. He laid small kisses across my chin and cheeks while chanting—“Thank you, Daddy!”—over and over again. I had no idea why it had taken me so long to give in to this; maybe I was being as stupid as Toma. In this moment, I shoved the church to the back of my mind as I pulled him closer.
“Get dressed for bed, boy.”
He gave me a final kiss on the mouth and glanced up at me slyly, the green in his left eye slightly darker than usual. “Is that an order, Daddy?”
I faltered and stared at his pleading expression. He needed me to take charge, be a real Daddy, and I wasn’t sure if I could. Did I want to? It didn’t take me long to think about that. Yes, I did. I had lusted after him since the beginning, but where did that put me with God?
He danced nervously from foot to foot, and I pushed aside my inner drama. I’d think about religion tomorrow. It wasn’t a very priestly thing to do, but Phoenix was waiting and I wanted to please him.
“Yes, boy. That is an order.”
He bounced on his toes. “Yes, Daddy. I’m going to get dressed now.” He rushed to the dresser and grabbed out his pajama pants, which had found a home next to mine. He went to walk past me, but I clutched his wrist before he could, earning me a confused frown. “Daddy?”
I exhaled slowly, cursing the way my dick chubbed at the thought of watching him get naked. This was bad. Sinful. My dick didn’t care. “Change your clothes here, in front of me.” I quickly added, “Only if you’re comfortable.”
His breath caught and his mouth opened as he stared at me, and then his teeth came down to chew on his bottom lip and he nodded, that misty look returning to his eyes. “Daddy, please. Let me undress in front of you.”
