I didn’t believe a word he said. Sloan might enjoy a good round of torture, but he was also trying not to start more wars than he could handle. He already had Italians and the Reyes Cartel riding his ass, and he still had men keeping an eye on the Giordanos because he didn’t trust their truce. He wouldn’t want to piss off whoever Ilya was in bed with, not right this minute.
I shoved past Cillian and headed into my bedroom down the hallway, slamming the door closed so hard the frame shook. My room looked sad and lonely. The thick forest green comforter on the bed didn’t have a wrinkle in it and the matching curtains were closed over the windows. There wasn’t a speck of dirt on the gray oak floor. Fallon wasn’t here to mess anything up, which he inevitably did every time he stepped foot in here.
Cursing Sloan, I stalked over to my dresser and yanked open the top drawer, shoving clothes to the side to get to the knives hidden beneath them. The blades were Honyaki steel—sharp, thin, and fucking expensive—but they’d been worth the price. They sliced through skin as though it was nothing but clouds, and they were the best thing I’d ever spent money on. I couldn’t have been happier with them.
The door opened and Cillian leaned against the frame, eyebrows raised. “What do ye plan on doing? Going to Mount Pleasure and torturing the bugger when Mr. Killough said not to go near him?”
“Maybe.” I wouldn’t, though. As much as I hated Sloan’s decision, he was still my boss and I respected him.
“Codswallop.” He rolled his eyes when I glanced at him. “Ye’re not that fecking stupid, and Sloan won’t be letting Ilya off without punishment. Just give him some time.”
“For what?” I snarled, real anger blasting off like small explosions inside me. My entire body felt hot, and I wanted to kill in a way I hadn’t before. Cillian was the one who enjoyed ending a life.
He frowned, and I realized he’d never seen me like this, questioning Sloan’s actions.Ihadn’t seen myself like this. I winced. There hadn’t been many moments since Dad’s death that I allowed myself to feel truly angry, because the one time I’d shown my rage after Dad died when I was a teenager, I’d made Mom cry. She’d scheduled more therapist appointments where I went and didn’t talk, and I’d sworn to myself I was always going to be calm, reserved, and leave the anger for internal seething. What happened to that promise?
I laid my knives on the dresser and stepped back until I fell into a seated position on my bed. Dropping my face in my hands, I muttered, “Fuck.”
“Ye good, mate? Do ye... need me to get Vail or something?”
I would have laughed at how awkward Cillian sounded if I didn’t want to smash something with my fists. “Yeah.” I scrubbed my face and sighed. “Tell Vail I’ll be in Rowen’s room soon. I’m just... going to get dressed.”
“Aye, all right.” The door closed with asnickand I shook my head. He’d left quicker than I’d expected, but Cillian didn’t do emotions, and usually I didn’t, either. What the hell had gotten into me? Shit. This wasn’t how I did things. Maybe being at the hospital and remembering Dad on his deathbed hadn’t been a great idea, but I’d promised Fallon. I wasn’t going to let him down.
I pushed to my feet and dropped the towel wrapped around my waist onto the floor, and after grabbing a pair of boxers out of my dresser, I stared at myself in the mirror on the wall behind it. Bags marred the skin beneath my eyes. I looked fucking terrible.
After I tugged on the boxers, I grabbed a white T-shirt and slipped it on before I headed out the door toward Rowen’s room down the hall. Vail preferred Rowen’s bed because it was big enough for all of us, and it was rare for us to sleep in our own rooms since we’d found him. We all wanted a piece, and there was something... nice about lying in the same bed with four other men.
By the time I got into Rowen’s room, the three of them were on the massive bed under the thick red blanket with yellow trim, and Rowen and Cillian had their bodies wrapped around Vail. The brass lamp on the glossy wooden nightstand cast a warm glow over them. This arrangement wasn’t unusual, though—they were the first ones to have Vail, and while there was no jealousy between us, they liked to get as close to him as they could. Fallon and I were a little more relaxed—the fact I enjoyed fucking him, too, probably had something to do with it. My heart ached and I was shocked at how much I missed him in our bed.
To my surprise Cillian shifted so there was a spot between him and Vail and nodded at it.
“Get yer arse in here.”
I snorted, then crawled across the bed into the space he’d made for me. Settling in beside Vail, I laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Thanks.”
“For what?” Vail’s cheeks glowed a bright red as he stared at me, then over my shoulder, and back to me. Sometimes keeping his attention on one person was hard, but he tried.
“For dragging me home.” Even if I worried about Fallon. They wouldn’t wake him up while I was gone. We’d already been warned they’d need to bring him out of his coma slowly by reducing the sedation until there was none. It wasn’t going to be an easy recovery.
“Always.” Vail buried his face against my chest and sighed. “I love all my guys, and I will protect you how I can, like you do for me.”
I chuckled and kissed his lips, sighing into the delightful taste of his mint toothpaste.
“Go to sleep,” he whispered, cupping my cheek and caressing it with his thumb. “And in the morning we’ll go back to the hospital to see Fallon. Sloan had Conall call around and arrange time off for me with the families I tutor. I think he figured Conall would be more diplomatic.”
He continued to whisper quietly about his work, and I nodded and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Cillian’s chest was tight against my back, and he hooked an arm around my waist, which wasn’t unusual when we curled up with Vail. It didn’t take me long to drift to sleep.
* * *
I didn’t knowhow long I was out, but when I opened my eyes, Vail and Rowen were gone. Cillian was still pressed against my back, though, his light breathing telling me he was awake.
“Time?” I grumbled, panic stabbing me in the chest as I turned to face him.
Cillian grabbed my shoulder. “It’s fine, Aspen. It’s only five. Early.”
“Fuck.” I dropped back onto the pillow and rubbed my face, then yawned and closed my eyes for a short moment. “That was an amazing sleep.”
“Ye bloody need it more often,” he grunted out. “Wanna tell me what’s going on between ye and wee Fallon? It’s more than Vail wantin’ ye to fuck, ain’t it?”
