This is why I fuck and move along.
But then Vail had stopped all that, and once in a while Fallon watched me like Vail did—heat in those big blue eyes. Fear was there, too, and I’d put it there on purpose. He needed to know how tough he should be and the way he should act in the Company.
But fear and lust didn’t make for something more.
Hell, I had more in common with Aspen than Fallon.
Of course, that didn’t mean I hadn’t been spending the last two weeks drawing out a training schedule for Fallon and telling him everything he should and shouldn’t do while I was gone. Having control over him was the same as a fine dessert—satisfying on a gut level. I was driving him around the bend, but I wanted him to be okay while I was in Miami.
I wanted them all to be safe and happy while I was away, and I’d never wanted to stay home like this in the past. I’d always enjoyed my time traveling. If it wasn’t for Aspen going with me, I might’ve tried to beg off with the boss, and that scared me a little.
Okay, maybe I wouldn’t have had the balls to say anything to Sloan, but I’d have thought about it a lot.
“Ye can talk to them, ye know.”
I slapped my hand over my heart and leaped to my feet, spinning toward the living room doorway. “Christ, ye wanker. What’re ye doing sneaking around the feckin’ house!” I pointed a finger at Rowen, and he laughed.
“Ye weren’t paying attention.” He came in and sat down on the white armchair near the couch with his iPad in his hand. “Whichever one has yer mind stirred up, ye can go talk to him. Is it Aspen? Fallon? Ye worried about Vail? I’ll keep him safe and ye know it.”
“Aye,” I muttered.
Rowen lowered his iPad to his knee and sighed. “Be careful. It’s the only time I’m sayin’ it, but unlike everyone else I know ye’re not a god, ye’re a man. I want ye home in one piece. Ye and Aspen have each other’s backs.”
Snorting, I sat back down on the couch. “We’re good. Don’t get yerself in a twist.”
Rowen leaned his elbow on the arm of the chair and settled his chin on his palm. I shifted uncomfortably. The lamplight glinted in his hair when he sat back, making it flash redder for a moment. “So? Which one has ye worked up?”
“None.” I crossed my arms. “That shite doesn’t go on with me. Ye’re the only one who has fits like a bird in a black-and-white movie. Oh, what shall I do?” I put on a falsetto, and he narrowed his eyes on me.
“I know what ye’re up to. Stop yer gobshite baiting me and answer the question. I won’t get angry and go away, I know ye too well. I would leave it alone, but whatever shite ye stir up on yer way out the door, I’m going to be the one here to clean it up, and I don’t want that while ye’re away. No one deserves it.”
Shame rolled through me, and I didn’t allow it often, but occasionally Rowen knew how to find an open wound and poke at it. I supposed it made sense, since he’d known me most of my life.
“Got no reason to run me mouth to ye about this.” I stared at the coffee table.
“Aye, ye don’t. Go talk to whoever needs it.”
Growling, I flipped him off and shot to my feet. He chuckled as I stomped out of the room and up the stairs, but I was smiling by the time I reached the second-floor landing. Rowen was an arse, but he did know me.
Pacing the hall for a few minutes, I finally found the balls to do what I should. I shoved my hands in my jeans pockets and took a deep breath. The first room I checked was Rowen’s because Vail tended to gravitate there. His stuff had been scattered around between the rooms of the other blokes, and they all seemed to have bits of his belongings in their space by now, but he always said he liked Rowen’s bed best because we all fit. They weren’t in there, though, and my stomach flipped.
Did that mean they wanted to be alone? I glanced toward Fallon’s room, and it irritated me that I didn’t feel like I should open the door and walk in there, and that was my fault, too. I sighed and walked over to Fallon’s door and considered knocking, but fuck that, the two men I wanted to see most right now were inside. I opened the door and stepped in.
“That’s why I like roller skating. What do you think?” Vail asked, a bright smile on his face. Fallon was chuckling at whatever conversation had been going on.
There that weird feeling was again—part fondness and... part something else. My bug and... Fallon. They were close. It hadn’t bothered me at first, but Fallon had his head on Vail’s chest and appeared so comfortable lying there. It should have been funny, Fallon snuggled up like that in Vail’s arms, because Fallon was almost twice his size with muscle... but it wasn’t. It was sweet and they looked exactly like they belonged together.
“Bug, Rowen needs ye,” I murmured.
He glanced up, his head tilting curiously. “Oh?” But as soon as that light of interest sparked in his eyes, I knew I wouldn’t need to say anything more. The need to investigate had taken root and he wouldn’t stop until he’d talked to Rowen, which was exactly what I needed right now. “I’ll be back,” he said and bent to plant a kiss on Fallon’s cheek. I rubbed at my chest as I watched them share wide goofy smiles. Vail transferred his happy attention to me as he got out of the bed, giving me a grin, but Fallon’s smile faltered and his face went pink when he glanced at me. Vail stopped to snag a pair of green sweats off the floor and stepped into them. They might’ve been Fallon’s, but he simply tied the string so they would stay up.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving. I hate it.” Vail sighed as he wrapped his arms around me to give me a big squeeze. “I don’t want you to go,” he whispered.
We’d been over this, so all I did was kiss his forehead. He just had to get it out there, and he’d tell me he didn’t want me to leave right up until I walked out the door. It wasn’t like he was trying to talk me out of going to do my job, it was more like the fact that he was going to miss me was a loop repeating in his brain and he had to blurt it out. It was one more thing that made me want to stay home and keep Aspen here with me and ask Sloan to send someone else—but I loved my job. I would remember how much I liked chasing down a mark and raining hell on them as soon as I was doing it, but this need to be home was digging into my chest.
It was so new.
Vail went and that left me with Fallon. Instead of going over to him I closed the door and leaned against it, watching him.
