“There we go. Aye, ye’re mad as a hatter. The bloody feckin’ beach with assassins out. Ye could talk Rowen into leaving his head behind, and that’s not a good thing,” he said, smacking my ass lightly, but he kept holding me tight.
“But the beach is fun....”
He sighed and pressed a kiss to my forehead. We stood there a few minutes longer, but eventually he let me go and went to the kitchen where he had food sitting on the island in the middle. He went back to eating a sandwich, which he must have been doing when we arrived home, and I paced. I couldn’t stand still. I couldn’t do anything except stare at my bare feet and a few inches of the floor in front of them. I tried to call Dad again and went to his messages. I tried to call Lor, too, and he didn’t pick up, so I tried not to panic. I went upstairs and walked the hall there, then came back down again.
I passed Cillian where he was sprawled on the couch with his arms spread along the back, and he stuck his foot out to stop me. I almost tripped, but he caught my elbow.
“I should have listened to you.”
“Aye,” he said. He stood, rolling his shoulders. I followed along after him, feeling lost as he went around the house and closed all the blinds and curtains. He went to his room on the third floor, which I hadn’t been in yet, and messed around with something at the back of a closet. I wanted to stare at this new space, but all I had eyes for was him. He didn’t tell me not to look, but he also didn’t invite me closer. I gasped as a panel slid to the side. There were several guns and boxes behind the false wall and he pulled out a large weapon. I wasn’t sure what brand it was, other than black and shiny, and he jammed a long, curved clip into it. I wanted to ask a thousand questions, but instead I tapped my dad’s name on my phone.
It went to voicemail.
Cillian cleared his throat, and I stared at him, shoving my phone in my pocket. “If I have to use this at any point today—” He held up the gun. “—ye hit the floor, and when I tell ye to run, ye run.” He glared at me.
“Okay.”
“Vail.”
“I said okay!”
He nodded and slung the gun around himself on the strap connected to it, then came over and tipped my chin up. I was surprised by the light kiss he dropped on my lips. “Ye’ll be okay or ye won’t. That’s every day with us. Do ye understand? Once this is done... and it will be finished eventually, one way or another, it won’t be the last time we’re on alert like this. Can ye live this way?”
I shrugged. “Rowen said you’d help me. You wanted to be with me.”
He growled. “For once, I’m trying not to be a selfish prick, do ye get it? What I’m saying to ye is serious. We don’t live safe lives, there are only degrees of danger.”
I glanced around the room that looked like any other bedroom I’d ever been in—bed, dresser, wardrobe that probably hid some fun sex toys—but then there was that space for guns that were probably illegal. That wasn’t the same as any other bedroom. Even though I was worried, something tingled in my stomach. Something inside me was happy that this wasn’t just another Saturday staring at my computer screen alone, preparing for another weekalone in my apartment.
“Yeah, I can live this way, if it means I get to spend the quiet times with you.”
He sighed and rested his forehead against mine. “I want to be downstairs. It will be easier to get out if we need to run.”
“Do you think we will?”
He combed his fingers through the short hair at the back of my head and pressed his forehead tight to mine. “Never say never.” He stood tall and took my hand to guide me back downstairs. In the living room he leaned the gun in the corner near the windows that looked out onto the front lawn and took me over to the couch, where he sat and pulled me onto his lap and into his arms.
“Maybe I was sick of my life and wanted to change the status quo, just a little,” I whispered. “Like when kids stand in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights off and chant Bloody Mary. I just... wanted to know.”
He chuckled, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “And ye bit off more than ye can chew. This isn’t really about ye, just so ye know. It’s about how everyone wants to talk to ye because ye’re beautiful.” He gave me a wink, but his heart wasn’t in it.
“You said you wouldn’t call me that.”
“What?”
“Beautiful.”
He snorted, his brown eyes alive with some emotion I couldn’t quite decipher. “I didn’t call ye anything. Now be still for a while. I’m tired.” He put his hand on the back of my head and urged me down until I rested my cheek against his shoulder. Slowly he began to rub a hand along my back. I shivered against him. He kissed my temple. “Rowen would be upset if ye were dead. I’ll keep ye safe.”
“Just for Rowen?”
He smiled and kissed me. The garage door across the hall from the living room slammed open and he sat upright.
“Hey” came a deep voice—Aspen.
“In here,” Cillian called. When Rowen and Aspen walked in, they looked like they’d seen ghosts. They were moving stiffly, and Rowen was paper pale under the sunburn on his cheeks.
“Is my dad okay?”
