“Yeah, I got hurt. They were embarrassed to know me after that.” I hung my head, and an old anger flashed white-hot in me. It wasn’t a mystery that Tatum had asked them to watch me so he wouldn’t lose his piece of ass, but I’d thought they had my back. I’d been wrong. The AS was a cesspit, and I’d made the mistake of thinking I could trust any of them, just because Tatum liked me.
And somehow I’d wanted to impress Tatum Black. I had fallen down the rabbit hole, trapped and scared and stuck, and I’d started seeing him as… above everyone else. I didn’t love him, or even like him, but I wanted his positive feedback. It was beyond messed-up. He scared me shitless, but at some point… after a few months, I’d wanted him tolikeme, just because he was drilling his cock into my ass on the regular.
Greene’s eyes squinted in sympathy, and I didn’t want that from him. I glanced back down to where I had my fingers tangled in my blanket and made myself stop.
“That’s not surprising,” he said.
“Why?” I asked too fast, too concerned he might have figured me out, and far too fucking invested in this person already. He was only a guard. He didn’t give a shit about me. I was a job to him.
Greene huffed out a disparaging grunt. “I know all about men like Brian and Karl. They’re hollow shells looking for other people’s ideas to fill them up and give them purpose. They don’t want reminders of how human they are.” He rocked his chair back on two legs and it creaked before he let it slam to the floor.
I glanced into his face and got stuck looking for too long. His lips were pink and full where they curved out. Fucking hell. “That’s a good way to put it.”
“Since you’re injured, is there anyone you’d like to call?” He lifted his eyebrows. Did he think he was doing me a favor?
I shook my head. No, I couldn’t imagine bothering Angel. I shivered. Greene tugged at my blankets to draw them higher on me, and then he stopped and gave me an apologetic shrug, almost like he’d forgotten he wasn’t supposed to do things like that for inmates.
“Okay. Thanks for the chat.” He stood, folded his chair, and when he was finished, he leaned it against the wall. I panicked. I didn’t want him to go. This was the first time in I couldn’t remember how long someone had actually looked me directly in the eyes and talked to me as if I was a man worth hearing out.
“They were friends I was given. I—” What was I thinking? I couldn’t tell him about the AS.
“You said as much before. What does that mean?”
Fear had me lowering my eyes to stare at his knees instead of his face. I’d seen Tatum’s ex dumped into a hole in the ground. I’d seen the dirt go on his body. Hell, I still remembered the field we’d trudged through next to the crossroads of Essex and Rue. There had been purple and white clover, and I didn’t think I’d ever forget that detail. The sweet green growth smell had made me dizzy, and that night I’d smoked a pack of cigarettes, one after the other, to chase it from my brain.
The crossroads had seemed significant to me at the time, and I couldn’t shake those names loose from my skull. We’d walked far back into the woods, away from the road, and Tatum had been there, too. After the first time he’d forced himself into my body, he’d kept me close. But he’d made sure that very first night I’d watched the bodies go in the ground. He’d made sure I was an accomplice, so I would never run my mouth.
He made it clear only the best would stay at his side.
Off and on I’d wondered if the remnants of the AS had murdered Angie, my ex-wife, and maybe that was why she’d disappeared without a trace five years ago. She’d loved Angel Blake, and I never could reconcile her dropping him the same way she had me. I shuddered, and the next thing I knew, another blanket was being draped over me. Greene went to the foot of the bed to tug flat a few wrinkles in the white fabric.
“I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m tired,” I whispered. “It’s been a while since I took a good slug to the head.”
“I’ll listen,” he said quietly.
“Why? Why would you do that?” My voice was far too loud, but I couldn’t bring it back down to a reasonable volume. I shivered harder.
“Get some sleep,” Greene said, and he walked around the foot of the bed, picked up his chair from where he’d leaned it against the wall, and then went toward the door.
“I can’t.”
He glanced over his shoulder with a smile. “No one will hurt you in this room.”
“Not here I’m worried about. Out there.”
He sighed and nodded. “I’ll do my best to keep you alive. Just get better.” Then he was gone. What the fuck was I supposed to do with a promise like that? Anger tried to scratch and claw its way to life in me, but a soft gratitude had me turning to bury my face in the pillow again.
3
Drew
The wind ruffledmy hair as I used the tongs and flipped the thick pork loin I’d marinated overnight in lime zest and spices. Black grill marks drew perfect lines over the meat. Juices dripped and sizzled on the flames of the old-school gas grill I’d hauled around for five years, from one crappy rental to another, before I’d bought my small house. I wasn’t big on throwing away things that were useful simply because they didn’t look pretty anymore. The dented grill was just fine for me.
Beyond the railing of the deck, to my left, capped waves lapped at the rocky shore. When I’d had the distance measured across the beach between my house and the water, it was about the length of a football field, but it didn’t seem that far. I always worried a bit about the waves, good weather or bad, even though my home was built on solid pylons that raised it well above the flood line.
“Why do you live here if it bothers you?” Rowdy asked with a laugh from behind me.
“I’m staring because it’s beautiful.” I lifted my middle finger in his direction without turning around.
