“Only five?”
Addy shrugged. “Yeah. She’s weird.”
I loved the girls, but I couldn’t get my heart to slow down. My knuckles turned white on the wheel as I drove, and when I was in Cam’s little neighborhood, I went directly past his house to Olivia’s. When we got there the girls tore into the house without asking why the plans had changed, and I was grateful. Tiredly, I took their bag up and set it on the front porch. Olivia opened the front door, took one look at me, and came out to wrap her arms around me.
I stood too long huddling against her and had to struggle for the deep breaths I pulled into my lungs.
“What the hell happened. Is Cam okay?” She was scared and I hated that.
Nodding because it was still a struggle to get my tongue to work, I leaned my head against hers for a second, then stepped back. “Yeah, I just have to….”
Olivia swatted at me with a dustcloth she’d had in her hand that left us both sneezing. She recovered first and laughed. “Yeah, whatever it is, go handle it. I can tell getting my house organized just wasn’t meant to happen.” She ruffled my hair, and I chuckled as she went back inside.
My stomach dropped as I climbed into my car again. I wasn’t sure what the hell I needed to do. I didn’t want to be alone, but I wasn’t in any condition to watch the girls, either. I glared at my phone. I felt like Cam had lied to me, even though I knew he really hadn’t. I’d known he’d paid to spend the night with me. Somehow that hadn’t really sunk in, or maybe I’d just managed not to consider it after I… started to like him as a person.
He had mentioned his mother knew Madam Winters, too, but it hadn’t meant as much without the woman in my face. I curled forward and rested my head against the steering wheel. I was feeling emotional in ways I never did, and strung out on top of that. My stomach roiled. I grasped my phone and dragged it into my lap.
I need a break.
My thumb hovered over the text, but I sent it, then turned off my phone. Tears prickled my eyes as I drove to my small house, even though I wanted to go back to Cam’s, but right now… it just didn’t seem safe. Not like it had before I saw that woman sitting like she belonged in the same space as Addy and Eloise. And yeah, they weren’t my children, but it was like my warm, happy place in the universe had been destroyed.
Cam’s girls and Madam Winters shouldn’t exist in the same spot. I nearly rear-ended someone when I didn’t stop fast enough at a stoplight and sweated the rest of the drive to my house, paying far too much attention. When I was finally inside my front door with the lock turned, I stared around the small, cozy space I’d always loved.
It didn’t feel safe anymore, either, because this wasn’t where Cam lived. Somehow Cam had turned into what I wanted when I was upset. He’d never evenbeenhere. Pain lanced through me and I had trouble breathing. I smacked my chest hard and sucked in air. This was ridiculous. I went over and collapsed on the couch, tired and keyed-up and lonely but wanting to be by myself. Nothing felt good right now even though everything had been so perfect this morning. Something wasn’t right with me, but I just didn’t know what, and while I didn’t think it was all seeing Madam Winters, I had no idea what to do with myself.
So I showered.
I put on my favorite suit.
And I went to city hall, where there would always be something waiting to distract me.
15
Camden
I need a break.
I need a break.
I need a break.
The words tauntedme the longer I stared at them. I tried for the millionth time to wrap my head around them, but it never worked, just like it hadn’t for the last six hours. When I called Liv to find out what had happened, she’d told me Mark had dropped the kids with her and went off to handle something.
That something had beenme. He’d broken off this thing we had with each other, and I didn’t even know why. I couldn’t call him because it went straight to messages, and frustrated didn’t begin to explain how I felt right now. I’d gotten home to find the house empty, and I’d paced the hallways, hoping this was a cruel joke and he wanted me to find him and chase him again, but it was bare of Mark’s presence.
Nothing.
He’d left just when I’d thought he’d finally settled in, and that stirred an anger in me I didn’t expect. My inner primal instincts told me to hunt him again, find him and demandwhyhe’d left because that text message meant nothing. Mark didn’t seem the type to break up over a message. No, I wouldn’t accept that. I planned to find him and demand answers. If he truly wanted to end it, I’d relent, but first I had the right to know why.
I couldn’t do that on a Sunday night, though, because I didn’t know where he lived and knew no one who did. Funny how that worked. We’d basically been living together for a few weeks and I couldn’t even pinpoint the suburb he lived in. He hadn’t talked about his house, and I hadn’t asked. If I was honest, I’d wanted him to forget he even had his own place. Now I was regretting the silence on the issue. If I’d had a clue, I would have driven the entire neighborhood over and over again until I found him. Hell, I might have door-knocked, too. I didn’t give a damn that it was nearly ten at night.
Instead I had to go to sleep. Or attempt to fall into slumber, which wasn’t working well as my mind kept playing all our interactions like a movie. I tried to figure out what I’d done wrong, only to come up with a blank. Everything had been going great as far as I knew, so what had happened?
I had no choice. I needed to go to city hall tomorrow, find him, and ask what I’d done. If I’d upset him, I wanted to fix it.
Fuck.
Anger and frustration stirred in my gut, and when I finally did fall asleep, it was at some stupid time in the morning.
