Brooks shrugged and held out his hand. I felt like an ass until I gave him mine. He pressed a kiss to the pulse point on my wrist that had my chest feeling light, then rested his cheek against it. “Your heart says otherwise.”
A sound too much like a whimper escaped me. “I was concerned. It went on for a while. About a minute and a half.”
“Then go out with me. Make sure I didn’t rattle away anything important, like being the first person to sink into your hot body.” He sent me a cocky smirk.
“Are you—” I gaped for a second. “Are you seriously using… that’s low. And you rememberthat, but you don’t remember the year?”
He laughed and rested his head more firmly against the pillow.
“Fine, you want to make fun of me? Go ahead.”
He groped for me until I bent close to him. His fingers bumped my cheek, and then he cupped it. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
He rubbed his cheek against my wrist, and his beard prickled nicely against my skin. Something warm swirled in my gut, something I didn’t want to stop, and that need scared the hell out of me. Itwouldend, and he would go away because this was the Courtesan. People paid; they left. Eventually they didn’t come in anymore because they were busy or had family obligations or simply found a partner they enjoyed more than getting relief with strangers. It was the nature of our business—the cycle of the Courtesan.
“I wasn’t… it really doesn’t matter what I want. I can’t go anywhere. There is too much to consider. Mother wouldn’t want me to go alone… and that adds another element of hassle for you.”
There was a knock on the door that swung it wider and startled me. Mother appeared, dressed in the outfit she usually wore to yoga classes—Barbie-pink pants and a formfitting top to match—and Lemonade was beside her on a pink leash. The way she color-coordinated right down to the pooch’s accessories made me suspect she hadn’t needed to go farther than her room, and I abruptly stopped that line of thought. I hated thinking about my mother working.
“Yes?”
“Are you using the Courtesan as a reason not to have any fun?” She sounded equal parts outraged and miserable. I hated the furrow that formed between her brows and the way her jaw went hard.
“Mother—”
She stomped her foot, and I snapped my mouth shut. “If you don’t want to see someone, that’s one thing.” Brooks let out a strangled, upset sound. “But I built this business to be an asset, son, not a liability.
Brooks cleared his throat. “It’s both, Madam Winters.”
Mother winced. “Well-reasoned. I’ll leave you to it. Good to see you again. Don’t be a stranger, you hear?” She waved and closed the door, and she talked to Lemonade in a lilting voice until they were out of earshot. Brooks didn’t move. Maybe he was asleep? I settled beside him on the bed. He appeared absolutely exhausted.
The silence stretched between us, and it occurred to me that I liked looking at him. I liked his beard and sturdy shoulders and strong body. I stayed there for a long time just watching him sleep and thinking about what it might be like to be on a date. Would he be courteous? Would he choose something fun or formal? The thought of being anywhere else on the planet other than the Courtesan, even a bowling alley, was almost exotic. Mother brought back Lemonade and left again with a finger twiddle in my direction. I couldn’t get out of the loop of my imagination.
The fantasy of being somewhere with a man was pleasant—and Brooks was charming enough that it might be worth my time. My chest went tight. I just couldn’t see it working. When I checked my watch again an hour had passed since the seizure, and I couldn’t stand the silence in my own head anymore.
“Wake up,” I said softly and shook his shoulder. He startled and turned toward me. “It’s time to get moving. Do you need anything?”
“My glasses? Water? Directed to the bathroom?”
“Of course. This way.” My tone was clipped and formal, and I winced inside.
He only grinned. This time when he tried to move to sit up, his actions were the type of stiff that telegraphed he was moving through pain, and while he still seemed tired, he was able to walk without my help. Lemonade followed us as I led him to my bathroom, and once he had a hand on the sink, he sort of dismissed me and felt around until he tapped the top of the toilet. I wanted to say something, but he didn’t seem to care that I was there, and as soon as he figured out which direction to aim, he pulled his cock out to begin to piss.
My face heated as I spun to head off to the small galley kitchenette outside my rooms. Mother and I had a half fridge tucked in the corner near the sink, and I grabbed a bottle of water from it to bring back to him. On the way to the bathroom, I picked up his glasses from the bedside table. He was washing his hands, and I passed him a towel, then exchanged it for the water. He smiled as I slipped his glasses on his face. While I was helping him I felt comfortable, it wasn’t until there was nothing left for me to do that awkwardness began to settle over me.
He chugged the entire bottle of water, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Can you bring me my clothes, cane, and Lemonade’s harness? Make sure my wallet and phone are in my pockets, if you could.”
“Of course,” I murmured and shot off to do as he’d asked. I both wanted him out of my life and didn’t want him to go—and that last part bothered me a lot. He had to leave. He couldn’t stay. I already knew there would be trouble somewhere in the Courtesan because I hadn’t been up at the usual time putting out fires.
“I’ll see you out in a moment,” I said as I handed him his things. “I have to go dress.”
By the time I made it back to him wearing my usual suit, this one a light blue I’d been told matched my eyes, he was dressed as well. I felt silly preening in clothes he couldn’t even see, hoping he would realize I’d tried to look good for him. Last night had happened, and now this was, too.
He would be gone soon. I swallowed and tried to make myself accept these facts. I’d done exactly what I’d always promised myself I wouldn’t last night—had sex with a man I didn’t know. And now…. I sighed. I wasn’t cut out for this type of thing. “It was nice of you to offer to take me out, but you know I was paid. I’m not someone you should waste that sort of energy on. I can’t take you up on your offer.” My stomach sank as I forced the words out of my mouth.
“Okay,” he said, and the glibness stoked my anger all over again. Hurt, I crossed my arms and watched him adjust his collar. His dark glasses made him seem less approachable than when he’d been in my bed. I’d thought he was serious about me, for all of three seconds. How dense could I be? I tamped down the anger that coiled in me like a rattlesnake and put on the face I showed irritating customers: blank, calm, and collected.
He took my elbow. I led him out into the hallway, then to the corridor beyond the rooms I shared with Mother. Lemonade walked with him, giving me a doggy smile. I softened a little toward her because it wasn’t her fault her master was a no-good dirty liar who told men he wanted to see them, then acted like it didn’t matter when they said no. Her doggy eyebrows scrunched, and I almost kicked him on the shin. He obviously hadn’t cared at all.
