It was times like these I was glad I couldn’t see. Hearing the panic in someone’s voice was stressful enough.
“Can you get my underwear? Ninety-nine percent of the time everything’s fine, but in the unlikely event you need to call an ambulance, I’d rather be decent.” The sound of his feet pounding the floorboards met my ears, until his knees were nudging my hip. He grabbed my hand, laying the underwear in my palm.
“What do you need me to do?” he asked, his voice calmer and stronger than I’d expected it to be. A lot of guys who’d seen me have seizures were nervous and ran around the room like a chicken with its head cut off. They weren’t helpful, and it was me and Lemonade on our own. After the seizure they packed up their shit and left. But Darcy had a tone of authority in his voice, the kind he used when he told Courtesans what to do, and the man I was dealing with right now was taking control of the situation. Any other time I wouldn’t let someone take charge, but I was at my most vulnerable, a time when Icouldn’tdo anything except lie back and wait for the onslaught of shakes and unconsciousness.
A sense of coldness seeped into me as I slipped on the underwear—my aura, a warning before a seizure set in. Prior to losing my vision, my eyesight would narrow with my auras and I’d grow dizzy, but the vertigo didn’t happen often anymore. Lemonade kept at my side, licking and nipping at my arm.
“I know, girl,” I murmured gently. I glanced in Darcy’s direction and touched his shoulder, and he shuffled closer. “There’s nothing you can do to stop it. I just need to be lying on my side so I don’t choke on my tongue. I’ll shake a lot, depending on how bad the seizure is. Lemonade will sit on me to try to keep me still.” My heart hammered, slamming against my ribs until it became difficult to breathe. The unusual smell—freshly cut grass mixed with burned chocolate cake—that came with my auras drifted into my nostrils, and I scrunched my nose up in disgust. “I just… need you here when it goes away. I don’t know how long it’ll go on for. I haven’t had one in a while.”
He touched my shoulder, his palm warm against my skin. My temperature spiked from cold to hot. I hated this part leading up to the shaking. The auras varied, depending on how bad my seizure was going to be, and I could already feel the intensity of it creeping its way to my brain. I sat forward and kissed him, or at least tried to, because I got the corner of his mouth, before I turned on my side and rested my head on the pillow. Lemonade moved, sitting on top of my legs and licking at my ankles.
“Good girl,” I murmured to her, reaching down to pat her head. Smiling in Darcy’s direction, I said, “You don’t have to stay if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m used to people leaving during a seizure.”
“They leave you alone?” Darcy’s tone grew louder, and I didn’t miss the anger laced in with the shock. This wasn’t the man who was trying to get away from me a few minutes earlier. He reminded me of Madam Winters right now; she’d acted the same way when I’d told her the same thing.
I smirked anyway. “I don’t need someone to take care of me. I’ve been doing it myself since I was six.”
He snorted. “I am not trying to take care of you.” But the touch to my arm told another story. I imagined the indignant look he’d given me, the one where he twisted his mouth and glared, like he couldn’t believe I’d ever say such a thing to him. That was what I missed the most about my sight—seeing him and the expressions he made. A lot of people assumed he was cold, and that all his looks were the same, but they were wrong. Darcy’s face changed ever so slightly, depending on his mood.
“Let me take you away from the Courtesan,” I whispered as I closed my eyes, the lightheadedness coming and going until I felt dizzy.
“I can’t leave the hotel. I’m the manager and—”
“So?” I grunted, cutting him off. “They rely on you too much. They’re happy to insult you and call you names, but when they need you, they come running to look for you. How is that fair?” I was met with silence, so I continued. “You’re worth more than that, sweet prince. Let me give you a weekend to begin with, and if you enjoy it, I’ll take you away for longer.”
“Take me away where?” he asked quietly, the hostility gone, leaving behind the Darcy I really wanted to know—the one who hadn’t been jaded by the years he’d spent at his mother’s side. He couldn’t escape this world because he’d been born into it. Darcy had done nothing except support his mother, but the truth was, he was also trapped. I’d watched him long enough to see how much he wanted to disappear from this world, even for a short time.
“Everywhere. Anywhere.” I shivered.
“Are you cold?” He slid his hand down my arm as I shook my head.
“No. This happens. It’s basically the beginnings of a seizure. I’ll explain it later.” I reached for him and grabbed his hand, bringing it to my lips. He tasted salty like sweat and cum—a reminder of what we’d done last night. “Where do you want to go?”
“Nowhere.” He sighed. “I can’t leave. Mother needs me.”
“No, she doesn’t.” Another wave of dizziness overcame me, and I took a deep breath. Lemonade nibbled at my ankle more sharply, and I knew I was about to start shaking. “We’ll talk later.”
“Do you want me to… hold you?” He cleared his throat like he was embarrassed to ask.
I smiled. “N-no. Nothing can stop my shaking, and I don’t want to hurt you, or me. Just… don’t disappear on me, okay? Y-you can l-leave if you….” I mumbled something as my head spun. I was rocked by a full-body jerk. I didn’t know what I’d said. “Be here when I wake up?”
“Yes. I will—”
I lost myself into a world of darkness.
