“Nah, the weather’s supposed to get worse into the night, not better. We might as well go now.” The snow was already coming down far heavier than I would have personally liked to drive in, but Declan didn’t seem rattled, and Jake only smiled over his shoulder at me from the front seat.
The good mood in the car only lasted until we hit the highway, and then Declan was forced to slow down to ten miles below the speed limit. The radio was on low, but not high enough to actually hear the music, only to have it be a dreamy background buzz. The heat had me warm and sleepy in the dim back seat. We’d been going along that way for a half hour when I heard Jake’s breath catch and the tires slipped, wobbling the SUV, but Declan simply adjusted the wheel like he hit patches of ice every day. I loosened my death grip on my seat belt.
“We can turn around?” I murmured into the quiet.
“We’re over halfway now.” Declan glanced at me briefly in the rearview mirror, his bright eyes unfazed. “Better to keep going and let the plows catch up with the snow. It’ll be okay. We’re fine.”
Jake turned and gave me a nervous smile over his shoulder. “I trust him. Those Midwesterners know two things. Snow, and—”
“He doesn’t need to know the other one,” Declan said sternly, and Jake chuckled.
“I’ve never driven far from home in any weather. It kind of, uh, makes me worried.” I glanced out the window across the highway divider. There was a car facing the wrong way in their lane with flares all around them, and the snow pelted down faster than ever.
“We’re perfectly fine, guys,” Declan said, and I let the soothing tone in his voice calm me.
We arrived at the exit for Minetto, and I gave directions to Declan. Nerves had my stomach tap-dancing, and I struggled to breathe the closer we got to my old apartment. I’d been living without the stress of dealing with Miranda every day, and it felt like I was going into hell. I cupped my hands over my face and breathed, but my headache cranked up and throbbed, and my stomach wouldn’t stop clenching.
Jake turned around with a smile that faded quickly. “You don’t look so good. Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I said through gritted teeth.
“You sure?”
I nodded and swallowed down acid in the back of my throat.
His brows dove low and he frowned. “Oookay, then.”
“This it?” Declan asked, and I almost told him no.
“Yeah.”
He parked on the street in front of my building, and I glanced up at the tan stucco siding. I’d only been gone a week, but the high-rise already seemed strange, and nothing like home. The glowing windows weren’t a comfort, especially when I picked out the set that belonged to Miranda’s apartment. I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt at ease there.
“What number is it?” Declan asked.
“Twelve. I’ll be quick. I swear.” My voice was strained; I couldn’t help it.
“We’re not worried about that. Do you want me to come up with you?” Jake turned to smile at me, but the worry was clear in the way his eyes crinkled and his mouth didn’t quite curve like it had all afternoon.
I wanted to say yes to his offer, but there was no way I could unleash Miranda on them. “I’ll hurry.” I hopped out and almost slipped and fell on my ass. Declan lowered his window. “I’m fine. I’m okay.” I kept muttering to myself about how great I was as I went inside, hoping the lie would give me courage.
My gut cramped with sadness when I passed the pot that held poor Coy’s fishy remains. The familiar trip inside and upstairs shook me. Each step weighed a ton and I had trouble catching my breath. The hallway seemed dangerous as I stumbled along the stained carpet toward the door I’d called home for the past year.
Miranda answered on my first knock, dressed to go out, which didn’t surprise me. She had on a short red dress and smoky gray eyeshadow, but I was struck by how dainty and innocent she appeared. Her eyes shone clear and bright as she smiled at me. It was no wonder people overlooked her meanness, because it was at odds with everything else about her.
She wrinkled her nose. “Why are you all sweaty?”
Jake and Declan hadn’t seemed to care. Jake had even hugged me. Embarrassed that she had something to complain about, I glanced down at myself. “I was snowtubing with friends. I would have showered first, but you said—”
“What friends do you have?”
I wanted to rip my hair out as she tapped her foot. “It doesn’t matter. Where’s my stuff? I came for it.”
“Get rid of this couch first.” She pointed inside at the furniture I knew for a fucking fact she’d bought about the same week I’d moved in. It was hers, she’d used her money, and I’d had nothing to do with it. Had she simply decided she was sick of it, the same way she had me?
“I can’t. I don’t have a truck to move anything, which you know. Have your brothers get rid of it if you don’t want it anymore. I didn’t buy it, so it shouldn’t be on me.” I jutted my chin and decided to stick to my guns.
“No, I’m getting a new one and this needs to be gone by the morning! I have shit to do tonight.” She gestured at herself and I knew she meant go have fun somewhere.
