“Is that me?” I asked. “It’s really good.”
“It’s nothing,” he mumbled and closed the sketchbook. “I’m done for now. Can I have another Pepsi?” His eyes practically sparkled as he turned to look at me.
“It’s kind of late for that, little brother. Drink your water.”
His bottom lip plumped in my direction.
“Don’t stick that lip out. Someone might bite it. Apparently there are wild bears in here. They’ll eat anything, especially boys who don’t behave.”
Angel crossed his good arm over his chest and held out his cast as he plopped deep into the beanbag chair.
“What happens if the dog doesn’t bring Jack’s rib back when he throws it?” I asked, confused about what was happening on screen. “Can he grow a new one? He’s a skeleton.”
“You’re not supposed to worry about it,” he said, and I ruffled his hair from behind.
He kicked the underside of the table and yelped, and before I realized what was happening he was on his feet with his cast cradled to his chest and his good hand clenched in a fist. “Don’t touch me that way when I can’t see you. Don’t!”
I held up my hands.
He stomped out of the den. I watched him go, horrified that I’d somehow managed to break his trust in me already. What had I done wrong? More importantly, could it be fixed? I shot to my feet and followed him.
11
Angel
My heart pitched back and forth like an out of balance washer I’d jumped on once as a kid. I’d sat on the machine until my mom came charging into the laundry room to lift me off and bitch me out for not turning the knob to Off. I hadn’t known how. Why that memory hit me now, I didn’t know. My body shook with each thud of my blood through my veins. Leaning forward and resting my elbow on the wooden kitchen counter near the pizza boxes, I hid my face with one hand. I laid my cast on the counter and was so mad I couldn’t use that hand to hide, too.
Fucking Dad.
He’d ruined shit he wasn’t even here to destroy. I was messed up from years of him catching me by surprise. A slap here, a punch there, a jab with his cane. One friendly touch from Casey had turned into a nasty shock that made me act like a crybaby and yell. He’d been loving on me all night, but I hadn’t seen him coming thatonetime. I hadn’t noticed. I shivered in humiliation. Tears rolled from the corners of my eyes and hit my cheeks. I’d done more crying in the last day than in the last year. Why was it now, when someone was treating me well, that I wanted to lose it all over the place? Shouldn’t I have been breaking down when I was trapped alone with Dad? Then, I’d been a rock. Nothing got to me in that house of horrors.
I was a robot in Dad’s house.
Here, where things were good, I was falling apart.
“Angel? Can I come near you?” Casey asked from behind me.
“Yes,” I said, as guilt reared its ugly head and joined my pity party. Now he was worried he was going to make me worse. “Fuck.”
“What did I do wrong?”
I shook my head and braced for him to yell the way he had in his office yesterday morning. No shouting followed.
“Tell me. What did I do? Come on.”
“You uh… surprised me.”Scared me.I wanted to turn around but couldn’t.
“I’m sorry, cutie. I didn’t mean to do that.”
My chest squeezed and warm tickles skittered through my stomach as the nickname finally registered.Cutie.Ugh, why do I like that?“Are we still playing?” I forced my eyes open and straightened.
“Not if you don’t want to be. We can be on a break. We’ll have to talk about how to do that in the future. You could just say let’s stop. No need to make it complicated.” Casey came and leaned his hip against the counter beside me, an embarrassed smile on his face. He held a hand out like he wanted to touch me. This mess was all my fault. He sounded serious now and hadn’t called me cutie again, which was a weird thing to be sad about.
“Did I mess this up?”
“No, you can’t. It’s for us to have fun.” He did the same thing he had when I’d first arrived—held his arms open—which made me want to fling myself at him. I stepped closer and rested against his front while he held me. The embrace was warm and comfortable, and I loved everything about it. He slid his fingers along my jaw until I looked up at him, and then he bent forward and kissed me. Warm lips covered mine and encouraged them to part. The kiss lingered and made my toes curl against the kitchen tiles. We stayed locked together, and after a bit I had his tongue in my mouth, twisting around mine and teasing against my piercing. Excitement tickled through my groin and exploded like a starburst that had me struggling to breathe.
“Maybe you’re my older brother who perves on me?” I whispered the second he pulled away for air.
