I winced. “Not by a longshot.”
“You’re going to fuck that kid up. I can’t even imagine a way to play with him that might not lead to digging up mind trash.”
“That a technical term?”
“Yup,” he said and popped his lips at me.
I sat back and slapped my hands on the table. The girl setting the cardboard carafes of coffee onto the cart nearby squeaked, and the customers who were standing near the door drinking their coffees all turned to stare at me. I waved and smiled.
“He’s sorry,” Creed called over like a fucking jerkwad.
When everyone turned back to their conversations, and in the case of the girl who worked here, getting my order finished, I leaned forward toward my asshole friend and wasn’t even sure why I’d called him anymore. “I’m worried about all that, okay? I’ve been thinking about it, and I feel like there are more pros than cons for Angel and me if we get into a relationship.”
Creed’s frown softened and he gave me a puppy-dog look that let me know he loved me, even if he was a snarky asshole in the mornings. “Then don’t do it. Worries solved.”
“Fuck, I’m never dragging you out of bed again,” I snapped.
“Listen, what did you want me to say?” Creed tweaked my nose, and I nearly slapped him. “It’s insane now that you know who his dad is, and having only seen that boy once I know he’s strung tighter than a teen twink eyeing the last can of shimmer fizz body lotion at a Bath and Body Works Black Friday sale. But that’s the problem. That’s exactly what you have here. A twink. Who probably needs therapy more than he needs S and M, and before you tell me that you’re not a sadist, think about this.” He leaned forward and jabbed his finger at me. I swiped it away and bared my teeth at him. “What are you going to do when this all blows up in your face? He works for you. How are you going to handle that? You’re doing something so irresponsible, on so many levels, I can’t even sort them all out.” He jammed his fingers together in a mockery of prayer and stared at them for a second before he sat back in a huff.
“Why did I call you and not Merit?” I asked, more to myself than anything.
“Because you wanted common sense and not a fucking cheering section.” He gave me a razor-edged smile.
“Angel likes me, too. I think he might be into it. He needs something to feel good. I can tell from the little we’ve talked. I’m going to feel him out about the age play. I’d like him even if I couldn’t be his Daddy. He’s sugar-sweet and he needs someone to help him.”
Creed scowled and rubbed his hands over his face. “Holy tap-dancing Christ, Casey. Listen to yourself. Savior Complex, much?”
“Yeah, and who are you to talk?” My adrenaline peaked, and I went on the offensive. “How long are you going to keep fucking Merit without giving him any hope of coming back into your life as his boyfriend? You’re stringing him along and it’s going shitty places.”
He dropped his hands to his lap and his shoulders slumped. I should have kept my fucking mouth shut. “That’s his choice. I told him it’s not happening. He keeps pushing.”
“You’re scared he’ll do it again.”
Creed jabbed at his glasses, but they were already high on his nose, and I was pretty sure he’d hurt himself. “And you’re diving in the Mariana Trench with this boy. Don’t forget. I saw him. He’syoung. Do you remember what we were doing at that age? This is beyond the deep end. This is lung-crushing levels of stupidity. You know his father. Why would you open yourself up to someone like Peter Gaffin?”
Rage tore through me and I clenched my hands into fists. “You better not be implying Angel is anything like that scumbag.”
“People learn behaviors from their parents,” he said simply and sat back to cross his arms.
“Fuck you. You’re an asshole in the mornings.”
“Which you knew.”
I unfurled my fingers and took deep breaths. Creed nodded at me encouragingly, and I wanted to smack him all the more. “What should I do, then? I like him.”
Creed stared at the table, and when he glanced up his eyebrows were knitted together and he had the saddest smile I’d ever seen in my life. “Try, with the knowledge it’s not going to work.”
“Why would you say that?”
He shrugged. “Because I want your expectations low. Then if it does work you can rub it in my face. But I don’t want you to rush in there and think you’re going to be fantastic as a kinky couple without so much work I’m not convincedanyonecould reasonably do it.”
I tapped my finger on the table until he looked at it. “I built my own company.”
“That took a ton of time and effort. You going to do that here?” His skeptical, snotty expression was well beyond irritating.
Staring at the table instead of his enraging face, I felt happiness swoop around in my chest. “Yes.”
“Then it’ll be fine, and you didn’t need to drag me out of my warm bed.”
