“I type at my job.” I stared at my cast with new horror dawning. “Shitcrackers.”
She sighed and touched the sticker as if to make sure it would stay put. “Then you better make an appointment for about eight weeks out, and there are exercises.” She flipped back the pages to show me and pointed them out. “Do them so your hand and fingers don’t stiffen up and get weird. Trust me, it’s a lot easier working the muscles now than letting them fatigue and fighting out of it later.”
Light tapping on the door had us both turning that way, and then it opened and Casey stuck his head in the room. He knocked the breath out of me. I’d managed to forget he was so massive while he was gone. I’d only ever seen him from a distance before today, and up close was not the same thing. He had to duck to step into the room without hitting the top of his head and that wasn’t a small door. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” I said when Mindy hesitated. Her mouth parted a little. She hadn’t met him yet, and it was odd seeing other people react to Casey. He really was a big guy, but people who didn’t even know about his reputation for having a temper shut down around him. That had to suck. He wasn’t stupid, so he must notice the reactions he caused. I gave him an extra big smile to make up for Mindy and held out my cast. “All done.”
She woke up from whatever Casey-induced trance she’d been in and smiled at him. This time she seemed too friendly, though. Some unpleasant feeling powered through me. There wasn’t room beside the bed for Casey and her at the same time, so she laughed and brushed past him, and then he stepped up to my side. He leaned over to touch the rails, which were down instead of up, and frowned at them, almost like he wanted to raise them and trap me on the bed.
“You’re going to need extra help with the cast. We’ll make sure you’re set up at work,” Casey said, lifting his hands away from the rail. He had a sick, unhappy smile stuck on his face.
“Did you find Dad?”
“Yes.”
“What did he say to you?” My guts tangled in a knot. At the start of the night, I didn’t think I’d be dealing with this nightmare. I wasn’t sure if Casey and I were even going to make it out on another date, and he’dalreadyseen my dad at his worst. I shouldn’t have sent him to take the card, but deep down I hadn’t felt like I could handle Dad again tonight. I glanced at my new cast and my stomach shrank until it felt like the size of a pea and everything in there wanted to come up. I swallowed until the sensation went away.
Casey blinked down at the coffee cup he held. “Nothing. He was completely out of it.” His shoulders were tense. Chances were what he had said wasn’t true. It was nice of him to lie.
“Thank you for doing me that favor. It was a big one,” I whispered.
He glanced up, and I was confused because he seemed really rattled. The expression looked wrong on him. What the hell had Dad done or said? Well, whatever it was, if he’d seen Dad and had come back here all on his own to help me, then that must mean something. More than his apology, Casey being good about Dad went a long way to convince me that even if he lost his temper sometimes, he wasn’t a jerk. It took a good person to handle Dad on his best days. Even people who were supposed to love him couldn’t take his shit. Not that anyone should have to eat the meanness he spewed. I sighed.
“Angel, did Peter do that? Your father, did he break your wrist?”
Casey lightly ran a finger along the ridges of the cast. He raised his eyebrows at my sticker, and I burned hot all the way to the tips of my ears. “I like Zuko,” I whispered, ignoring his question. “He tries really hard to change. He’s the best character inAvatar.”
“I don’t have any problems with that. You’ll have to tell me about him,” he said softly. “Answer me about your father, please.”
I couldn’t bring myself to say no. Or yes. The lies I always told about Dad swelled up in my mouth and wanted to pour from me. I played with my tongue piercing and tapped it on the back of my teeth. I didn’t want to start out telling bullshit to Casey. I bit the tip of my tongue and shook my head no.
“Okay,” Casey snapped. He stepped back and glared down at his coffee. I wanted to say something else to him, tell him he’d guessed right, but years of holding the truth in wasn’t an easy habit to break in one night.
Casey stayed with me through the entire check-out process, and he picked up the paperwork for me and carried it. Even though I could tell he was still pissed off about Dad, or me not telling him the truth, he wrapped his coat around me before we went outside, which was good because my hoodie wouldn’t go over my cast. I gave him a grateful smile as he hooked his arm around my shoulders to keep the bulky material in place while we walked.
He was helpful getting me situated in the passenger seat of his car. The cast was a pain, and I wasn’t sure how to hold myself with it on my arm. I wasn’t sure why, but now that I wasn’t trying to pretend I was fine, I was zombie-level exhausted. All I wanted to do was eat or lie down and die. I let him wrap his coat around me like it was a blanket, and it was Casey who buckled my seatbelt before he closed the door. We were quiet on the drive back to my apartment. I huddled in his coat and sniffed the traces of his cologne like an addict, using it to cleanse the hospital smell out of my nose.
He repeated his fussing over me when we got out of the car. I had to fight off a smile when he glanced into my eyes because I could have sworn there was a blush on his cheeks. He wasn’t the kind of man who did things like be embarrassed—I didn’t think so, anyway—but he glanced away fast. Smiling to myself, I ducked my head and leaned against him as we went upstairs. He shortened his steps to match mine as we walked, which must have been uncomfortable for him.
“You didn’t have to do this,” I said, when we were standing in front of my door. I dug in my pocket for my keys, and he took his coat back as I fished them out and fought with the lock more or less one-handed to get it open.
“Someone needed to be here for you,” he said. His jaw hardened as I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. Casey turned to leave when I stepped into my apartment, and I panicked. I didn’t want him to go yet. I’d been looking forward to this so much this afternoon before I got hurt, and nothing had gone the way I’d wanted.
“Are you mad at me for not saying it? You already know. You met the man. Why do I need to say it? I’ve never understood that. Everyone knew when I was younger, too. Anyone who was around Dad for five minutes knew. He did it. Okay?” My nose felt clogged, and I sniffed, hating how my cheeks burned. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It absolutely does,” he growled and turned back toward me, but there was a difference in him. His expression was more open and his shoulders didn’t seem as stiff. The hallway looked extra dingy next to him in his nice clothes. I bit at my tongue piercing. Why had he needed to hear me say it out loud? I hadn’t wanted to fucking say it. And now he knew all this garbage about me.
My chest felt… different too, though. Lighter. I’d said those words out loud for the first time in my life. I shivered, and he followed me inside, turning on the light switch by the door as he went. The lamp in the corner flared to life, and I blinked against the sudden brightness.
“It’s cold in here.” He glanced around my small apartment with a scowl. “Where’s the thermostat?”
“There isn’t one. The building is kept at a balmy fifty degrees, and we’re not really supposed to have space heaters because our utilities are rolled into our rent,” I said and went over to sit down on my bed, too tired to stand around when it was right here. “I think most people do anyway.” I pointed at the small heater I had tucked in a corner away from anything that could catch fire. He went over and crouched to turn it on.
“Do I really not pay you enough to have something better than this?” he asked, and I couldn’t miss the hint of guilt.
“It’s Dad. I end up covering some of his expenses. Sometimes he does… I don’t even know what with his money. I think he might hire someone to come in and service his… uh….” I couldn’t bring myself to say “fuck him,” though I’d long suspected some of his cash might disappear to a prostitute. “Anyway, sometimes his disability check is just gone.”
He glanced over his shoulder and the scowl was still stuck on his face. My stomach fluttered with nerves. “Then he should let you handle his finances.”
