“It was cluttered and unorganized,” I admitted in a whisper. “I’m not a complete germaphobe, but I like clean, too. I didn’t know what was on that floor.”
“We always sanitize playrooms after they’ve been used. I would never put any of my members at risk.” Vic stood and I watched the way he stretched his body tall, reminding me of a lion, all graceful and deadly. JP seemed like a gazelle, baiting people to come closer with his innocent handsomeness, but if you got into his personal space, he quickly turned into a lion, too, ripping your guts open with his claws. “I can handle some reorganization.”
“Really?”
He smiled. “Yes. Now come on. Let me buy you a drink, and then I can get you a ride home so you can tell JP you’re moving out.”
“I….” A lump lodged in my throat and I tried hard to swallow around it. I’d been certain that moving out was the best move, but now I wasn’t so sure. He’d told me I didn’t have to leave, but I didn’t think I could live with him when I wanted him so badly. I also had no idea why Vic wanted me to move in. He’d met me for the first time tonight, yet it was a good offer. I wouldn’t have to go home to my parents, and I also wouldn’t have to live with someone I desperately wanted to have sex with… again. Forcing a strained smile on my lips, I nodded. “Okay.”
We had a few drinks before he called a cab, paying a breathtaking amount to the driver before he kissed me goodbye on the cheek. He’d put his phone number into my cell earlier, and he told me to call him tomorrow as I got into the back of the car. I nodded and smiled in answer before the cab took off toward JP’s house.
I sat in silence, my cell phone in my hand as I stared down at Vic’s number. He was a nice guy, handsome and controlling, but not in a bad way. He would have been a perfect Daddy, and despite that, I had no interest in having sex with him. My mind had wandered to JP a lot tonight as I’d wondered what he was doing while I was at the club. One of the guys told us that JP had left to go home, and I’d secretly hoped he hadn’t taken anyone with him. The thought of him having sex with someone else made me want to vomit, but I managed to hold it in.
I thanked the driver as I slid out of the cab and walked the snowy path to the house. Dragging my jacket tighter around me, I nearly slid on some ice I didn’t see on the front porch. I’d barely knocked on the door when it snapped open, JP standing on the other side with a smile.
“You’re home.”
Home. If only it was that easy to call this place mine. I returned a timid grin of my own. “Yes.”
“Did you not like Vic? We can find another Daddy for you if you want.” Even though his voice lowered, I didn’t see anything that suggested he hated the idea of pushing me off to someone else.
Disappointment clumped in my chest and I shook my head. “I liked him.”
He led me inside and closed the door before turning to help me take off my coat and scarf, as though I was incapable of doing it myself. “Was he too pushy? Vic’s a tough Dom. Good, but he has expectations of his boys and subs.”
“He was fine,” I whispered as I turned to him after he hung my coat on the coatrack. “What happened in the playroom was a misunderstanding.”
JP’s eyes narrowed. “Right.”
“And we sorted it out,” I finished lamely, playing with one of my borrowed suspenders. “Actually… I’m moving in with him.”
“What?” His face transformed so quickly that I took a step back in surprise. The stormy expression made him look more like the JP I had grown used to at the office, with hisdon’t fuck with meattitude that had me both annoyed and frustrated with him when I first started working there. “Why would you do that? You just met him tonight.”
“I only met you two months ago and I moved in here,” I said quickly, feeling another flush settle on my cheeks. “And you were an asshole to me before you offered me a room.”
JP looked like he was about to argue, but we both knew he couldn’t; hehadbeen a fucking jerk to me and had taken pleasure in torturing me since I started working for Mr. Elwood. It made more sense to move in with Vic than JP, if I thought about the situation.
“It’s for the best,” JP finally said, and more than disappointment shot through me. I couldn’t quite pinpoint how I felt. Destroyed might have been a better word for it, but I shouldn’t have expected any less, even if Vic gave me false hope that JP felt more for me. That was a silly thought. “He can be the Daddy you need, and we can go back to how we were before.”
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Vicwasn’tgoing to be my Daddy, but rather just a friend. As far as I was concerned, he didn’t have the right to know. Fuck him for making me think I meant something to him. I was tired of being an embarrassment to friends and family. When it came down to admitting what I was to them, they could never do it. My parents hated telling their friends I was their son, and JP would never want to start a relationship with me because he didn’t want to tell Mr. Elwood.
I raised my chin, ignoring the intense emotional pain in my chest. “Yes, he will be. He already is.”
“Good.” He crossed his arms, and we stood there for an awkward moment before I let out a long breath and glanced toward the stairs.
“I think I want to go to bed now.”
He waved his hand and strode past me toward the kitchen, and as tempting as it was to follow him, I let him go. My shoulders slumped as I made my way up the stairs and toward the guest bedroom. I couldn’t help but stop outside his room, memories of what we’d done only a few nights ago flashing through my mind. I’d lost my virginity to him, that was the only reason why I cared so much, or that’s what I told myself.
When I came to the playroom door, I reached out for the knob and twisted it until it popped open. I slipped inside, closing it behind me, hoping JP didn’t know I was in here. Stepping closer to the toys on the wall, still in the perfect order I’d put them in, I reached up to touch one of the spanking paddles. Wide and black with those silver studs, it shouldn’t have been something I was interested in being used on me, but the feel of the knobs over my palm made me shiver.
My next favorite toy was a pair of handcuffs, blue and fluffy, hanging with all the other types of restraints. How would these feel on my wrists, secured so I couldn’t move while JP did what he wanted with me? I trembled harder. There were also long pieces of velvet I assumed were used to tie wrists as well, and it was soft between the pads of my fingers.
I sighed. I’d made my choice because I didn’t have another one. JP had an influence over me others didn’t. If he told me he wanted me to stay, I would, but he’d made it perfectly clear that wasn’t an option. Vic, however, gave me a permanent escape from my family as a newfound friend. I couldn’t pass that up.
“Do you want an explanation of what they’re used for before you go?” JP asked from behind me.
I jumped, spinning on my heel and nearly tripping over in the process. I hadn’t heard the door open. “No,” I said when my racing heart steadied. “I’m fine.”
