I’d made my peace with going to Triple X, but I didn’t fucking want to do this. Dinner was done. We were both dressed. It was nearing eight o’clock at night. I absolutely couldn’t put this off any longer. I left the bathroom, boots thudding loudly on the floor, and tried to steady myself as I went downstairs. I found Max perched on a chair at the spotless kitchen table, picking at the knee of his trousers. He hadn’t had anything appropriate to go out in, so I’d given him a pair of leather suspenders from the back of my closet, and he’d simply worn them over a crisp white shirt and his suit pants. He was fucking tasty, in my opinion, but if it didn’t appeal to anyone at the club tonight, I wouldn’t cry about it.
“Get your coat. We’re going to be late,” I snapped.
Max flinched and gave me an appraising glance. “Are you upset with me?” he asked as he stood and rolled his tense shoulders.
“Of course not.” I tried to keep my response gentle, but his lips thinned anyway, and he shied away from me. I went out into the hallway and grabbed his coat off the pegs by the door. He shuffled his way into the hall after me and held out a hand, but I simply opened his coat and he turned to let me slip it on him. I wrapped a scarf around his neck and my thumb grazed the warm, freshly shaven skin of his jaw. He inhaled a deep breath and shivered. His clean scent wafted around us, masculine and musky. My stomach ran warm and then immediately soured.
Making myself drop my hold on him, I checked my pocket for my keys and wallet and then opened the door.
“Don’t you need a coat?” Max asked, concern forming a furrow between his brows.
“No.” I wanted the cold on the ride there to give me something else to focus on, other than the fact I was handing Max off to Zack fucking Vicar. Just because I knew why this trip tonight was a good idea didn’t mean I had to like it now that the time had come, idiotic as I was being. I gestured for Max to precede me and then followed him out. The cold air sliced through my thin shirt to my skin and provided just the right sting to keep my thoughts in the here and now.
Once we were in the Rover, Max stared out his window rather than looking at me. Since I had no idea what I would have said to him anyway, I shrugged off my irritation at being ignored. He probably had a lot going on in his head, what with potentially meeting someone he’d be having sex with and playing with for the foreseeable future.
If I was his age and in his position, I would have been excited. I might have even been sitting there hiding a hard-on. I sneaked a peek at his lap and didn’t see anything unusual. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or sad about that. I wasn’t certain about anything tonight, except that I would have rather stayed home.
Carefully I backed the Rover out of my driveway and onto the road. The silence between us was so strained that I flipped on a local radio station. Taylor Swift blared through the speakers and I itched to change the station, but he smiled and seemed to enjoy it, so I left it. Of course he would like that kind of prepackaged pop music, and the only shocking thing about it was that I found it sweet instead of annoying, especially when he gave a tiny wiggle like he might enjoy dancing, too.
He didn’t glance at me once on the drive to Triple X, and I knew because I kept checking. Low-grade anger blazed to life in me, not at Max, but the situation. Maybe a little at him, too, for not begging me to take him home. Not that I had any right to be pissed off at him, since I’d more or less ordered him to go along with this plan—I’m not being fair to him—but part of me wished he would throw one of those temper tantrums of his to get out of this. I doubted I’d be able to stand it if he looked at me with his big brown eyes and asked me to take him back home and keep him tucked away and safe.
He didn’t.
My anger grew until it was a dull roar in the back of my mind. Mostly I was furious at myself. I’d allowed this fucked-up situation to come together. I’d kissed Max and fucked that sarcastic, sweet mouth of his. Then I’d fucked him—period. He’d felt so good underneath me, looked amazing spread out on my bed.
Not to mention he’d been beyond fuckable sitting in my playroom looking overwhelmed and so in need of guidance.
And now I was ready to murder because I had to let him move on to someone else. In all likelihood it would be healthier for him to have a different Daddy, someone who wasn’t tangled up in the mess at work. He’d have a fresh start. Yes, that would be best for him. Maybe I needed to start giving myself the “Your Actions Have Consequences” speech, instead of handing it out to Max and everyone else.
If I really was any sort of Daddy at all, I had to do what was best for him, not be a jealous fuck and try to hold on to him—hold him back from life.
So I’d do what I needed to do, like always. This would work out fine for Max. I glanced at him again and held in a sigh before I focused ahead. It was only snowing lightly, but the roads were slick, and occasionally ice grabbed at the tires and had me holding a breath. By the time we pulled into the parking lot in front of Triple X, I was in the worst mood of my life and not sure I was hiding it. I turned off the Rover and shoved the keys in my pocket.
Triple X looked the same as always and Max craned his neck to get a good view. The club was old hat for me, and I wasn’t impressed by the chipped brown bricks on the exterior. What was Max thinking? The gently pointed roof made the building look exactly like the converted warehouse it was, and the hooded lighting along the front wall dispelled just enough gloom to dissuade most people from coming outside to fuck between the cars when the weather was warm. Three pink neonXs on the front of the building glowed like a bright invitation to the debauchery within, which was the only reason everyone came all the way out here, especially in the snow. It didn’t matter what the outside of the building looked like, it was the eye candy and opportunities inside that counted.
“How are you feeling? Ready to go in?”
Max shifted in his seat with hesitation and a ridiculous elation swelled in my chest. My fingers dug into my knees. All I needed was one “no” and I’d take him home and figure something else out. Maybe I could talk Vane around to accepting Max and in a few months I could let him know…. Fuck, that probably wouldn’t work, and I needed to stop thinking about it.
I’d never expected to feel this invested in what Max did or didn’t do after he’d been in my bed. The thought of someone else ordering him around when I hadn’t even gotten a chance yet to explore much of anything with my boy had me gritting my back teeth together so hard my jaw hurt. I wanted to be the one who helped him discover his kinks. The longing took my breath away.
Max unbuckled his seat belt and turned toward me with a small smile that didn’t look quite right. “I’m ready. You said Vic is nice, and he was okay on the phone.” He searched my face and drew his bottom lip between his teeth. My cock pulsed with pleasure at the sight.
“No, I said he’s a good Dom. I don’t honestly know if he’ll be very nice.” Max’s lips curled downward, and I wanted to kick myself. I needed to get this over with fast, get him to Vic, so I didn’t screw this up for him. “It’ll be great. I’m sure you’ll have fun,” I grumbled. “Let’s go.”
As I got out, I managed to avoid slamming the door, but only just. I waited near the front of the Rover for Max to get out and resisted the impulse to go help him. Other people were streaming toward the front doors from the parking lot—friends in packs wearing bondage gear, who were laughing and joking; couples in their nice going-out clothes with their arms looped around each other, or swinging their hands together, or simply talking. It was a pleasant scene, all in all, and one that would be good for Max.
This is for the best.
Outrage churned inside me again as I thought about Vic touching Max’s soft skin, spreading his asscheeks, tasting his pink hole, kissing him, putting him on his knees. I shook my head at myself as Max stopped at my side. He gave me a look I couldn’t quite interpret, and without a word I started forward, toward the front entrance of Triple X. He scrambled to keep up with me, but I didn’t slow down. My resolve was a fragile thing right now, and if I stopped, I’d pick him up and carry him back to the fucking car.
The bouncers at the door were men I didn’t know, maybe new, or I just didn’t remember them. It had been nearly a year since I was here. They consulted a tablet before they let members through. There was a line of shivering people dressed in too-few clothes waiting to be checked to get inside, but I directed Max toward the bouncer with the tech, who I figured was comparing names to a list.
“Get in line,” the tall, bald man said, though he didn’t sound mean. He hunched a little as wind whipped through the parking lot and tugged up the collar on his black coat. “We’re moving as fast as we can. We know it’s cold. You and your boyfriend will be in soon.” He gave me a craggy smile.
“Vic is waiting to talk to Maxwell, here,” I said crisply and brought my arm around Max, drawing him close to my side. He shivered, and I dropped my arm. “He’snotwaiting in the cold.”
The bald bouncer glanced down at me in surprise. “Oh, he’s the guy?” He looked at Max with too much interest.
