“Alternative? What do you mean?” His eyes narrowed.
I let out a huff of air and leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms and lowering my head. “It was nice of you to let me stay here, but I know this makes you uncomfortable. Your boss doesn’t like me.”
“Our boss, not just mine. Do you blame him? You tried to get him fired.” It didn’t sound like an accusation per se, but I hated that he felt the need to point it out.
“I know.” I groaned and ran a hand over my face. “I don’t need you to remind me.”
He shrugged. “So apologize to him and Jax.”
“I… can’t.” I dropped my arms and wrapped them around myself instead as I stared at the tiles on the floor.
He stepped in closer, the spicy scent of his cologne a potent indication of how close he stood, and hooked his finger under my chin, raising my face so that I looked at him. He shook his head. “You’ve apologized to me before.”
“That’s different,” I whispered, sure he could feel my breath on his lips. I wanted so badly to lean forward and kiss him, but I kept control of myself. “I broke your ornament.”
“And you tried to destroy Vane’s and Jax’s careers. I think one deserves more of an apology.” There was a hint of amusement there, and in spite of telling myself not to think of ridiculous things, I thought he might have found me adorable.
“Not in the workplace. I can’t show weakness at city hall.”
“How is apologizing a weakness?” He stepped back, and even though I didn’t want him to go, I didn’t reach for him, either. Straightening his suit, he stared at me like I was an undiscovered molecule, something he was trying to understand. I’d always been a strange guy, though, as more than one person was happy to tell me.
A Kalinski doesn’t have a weakness, Maxwell. Don’t ever show your hand.Mom’s words bounced around my head.
I sighed. “Can I ask you a question?”
He waved his hand as a yes.
“When was the last time Mr. Elwood apologized to someone?”
JP paused, brows knitting together in thought. Every second that passed, the more frustrated he seemed to become, and I smiled at how cute he looked.
“That’s what I thought. Mr. Elwood doesn’t say he’s sorry.”
“You’re right,” he finally conceded. “But he can afford to be that way. He’s the deputy mayor. I’m sure he apologized to a higher-up at some leg of his career journey. If it gets down to brass tacks, he also doesn’t actually need his job. He’s wealthy in his own right.”
JP had a point, and I hated that. Mom was at the top of her career as well, but when she and Dad met, she was only a lawyer, no one special, no matter how much she chose not to talk about those days. Dad had come with money, which was how she’d managed to get where she was now. We’d had all kinds of important people in the Kalinski family, from senators to CEOs of million-dollar businesses, and it had only been expected that Mom rise to judge status. My family demanded the same results from me, but I didn’t know how that was going to happen, especially since I now had to retake this class again. My parents and brothers wouldn’t let me forget it—ever.
“Go get ready.” The soft lull of JP’s voice startled me out of my thoughts and I nodded, pushing myself away from the counter and walking around him and out of the kitchen. I took my time with showering and getting ready, choosing a plain black suit, the kind I always wore. If Mom saw the clothes JP had, she would have a heart attack. Even though they were elegant and clearly expensive, she believed in nothing but black for suits at work, with subtle-colored ties. No bright reds, blues, purples, or any other overzealous shade in existence. She’d concluded long ago they weren’t professional and had drilled that into me.
After I was done, I walked back downstairs and met JP in the hallway. He already had his black trench coat on and the door open and ready to go. I grabbed my own coat and we walked out together in silence.
“I’ll meet you there,” he said as he locked up the house.
All I could do was nod and make my way through his garage and outside to clean the snow off my car. We had a light dusting last night, and while it wasn’t enough to impact me driving to work, it still needed to be removed. By the time I’d gotten into the driver’s seat, JP was already on his way out of the driveway with a small wave. I watched him go, my belly clenching.
Turning on the heater to warm the cab, I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. I hated how it had come to this. I thought letting him take my virginity would make things easier, that I wouldn’t have to worry about tonight when I’d meet a potential new Daddy, but it only made me want JP more. The way he’d taken care of me, helped me douche in a way that made me feel comfortable, had my heart hurting. I didn’t have much experience, but not many people would have done that. This man wasn’t the same one who’d taken pleasure torturing me with menial jobs at work. He’d been kind and caring, praising me whenever I did something good. I’d never had that kind of encouragement before. I couldn’t remember a time when my parents told me I was doing well; they’d always lectured me on ways to be better.
I sighed as I put my foot on the gas and headed out. The drive into New Gothenburg was nice and quiet, not many cars passing me in the opposite direction, and it gave me time to think—and stress—about tonight. I had no idea what I was going to wear or what I’d say to Vic. I’d never even heard of this Triple X club, and a Google search came up with little, other than it was a strip club that catered to the LGBTQ+ community. Nothing said BDSM about it, but I wasn’t naïve enough to think that was unusual. Working in city hall meant I had to know about local laws as well, and while BDSM wasn’t illegal, it was a gray area that wasn’t viewed kindly.
The thought of anything other than spanking or handcuffs made me shudder. I didn’t think I could handle a lot of pain. When I was younger I’d fallen out of a tree and broken my leg; it’d been the worst experience in my life, and Mom had refused to sympathize, blaming myrebellious attitudefor the fall. To this day I still didn’t understand how I was a rebel in her eyes. I’d always done what she’d asked of me, and that had been the only time I hadn’t listened to her. I’d asked to go play in the backyard, and she’d told me no, but I’d done it anyway. She liked to remind me about the incident while telling me how stupid not listening to her could be.
By the time I arrived at city hall, I’d annoyed myself with thoughts of Mom so much that I nearly ran into Jaxson on the bottom floor, near where we used to work as interns. I held back the urge to apologize and crossed my arms when he gave me a long look of irritation.
“Are you actually on time?” I snapped, meaner than I’d meant to be. “That’s a surprise. I thought you’d be too busy fucking the boss.”
Another intern we used to work with—I thought her name was Bethany—gasped from where she’d been walking in behind me. She stopped, her mouth twisting in her own form of annoyance. She’d never liked me, but then, none of the other interns did. “That was rude.”
“Did I ask you?” I waved my hand at her. “Shoo, intern.”
