“But going to this much trouble because you stole an employee off him? Sounds a bit much.”
River snorted, eyeing me carefully. “You don’t know Brickton. That guy holds a grudge, and it could be his way of getting back at West, too. If he ruins my reputation, he ruins my company, which means West’s job. Maybe he’s hoping to force him back to his firm.”
“Fuck. That’s true. What a prick.” I shook my head. “Do you need anything else?”
“Yeah, I need to know why you think pretending to be my Dom is a good idea?” He pursed his lips, that normal pinched look back on his handsome face. The few times I’d met him, this was the kind of stare he always had on, except when he’d been looking at me in concern. The compassion I’d received from River hadn’t been the same as the fake sympathy that even my coworkers had sent my way, but rather a real sincerity that I felt right down to my bones. He hadn’t been afraid to roll up his sleeves and get involved on the worst day of my life to date. He, more than anyone, deserved equal consideration.
“If the intel we got is correct, we could be looking at saving numerous people from a life of sexual slavery. People like that Dima you mentioned. So yes, I think it is a good idea, and I need you to teach me everything I need to know so I can act the part in that club.”
“It’s not as easy as you think. You need to have the attitude.” River grabbed his glasses, slipping them back on so he wasn’t squinting at me any longer.
“So show me. Now. That’s an order,” I said with as much force as I suspected a Dom would have. The sound of the dominance in my own voice heated my blood.
He shivered, although it was subtle, and I noticed his eyes darken slightly. “Fine. Just remember what you got yourself into. If we do this, there’s no going back. People in that community watch everything. You’d be shocked who is in the lifestyle. Probably some people you already know. Which means you can’t just be my Dom, you’ll need to be my boyfriend, too.” His eyes widened. “Pretend boyfriend.”
I held back the grin that threatened to appear on my mouth. “Okay, teach me how to be your Dom.”
6
River
The needle mark on my arm hurt and was an ugly purple. If I had my shirt off tonight, I’d look like I was riding the Chemsex pony. If Paxton wasn’t on point, I’d have predatory Doms trying to feed me pills and who knows what else all night, trying to get a piece of my ass. Ten years ago that might have been my jam, but right now it sounded hellish—althoughthat might have been my hangover talking.
Absently, I rubbed at the mark, a cold dread slithering through me. There were a lot of unpleasant diseases to be acquired in the world, and I hoped more than anything I hadn’t been made the proud owner of one last night without my consent. Paxton stared at what I was doing with my hand, so I stopped.
“Paxton… let me start over.” Closing my eyes, I searched through myself for some fortitude. Embarrassment had my insides squirming badly, maybe because I knew he didn’t really like the sex games I did. Usually I didn’t give a ripe fuck what anyone who wasn’t a potential client thought about me. Maybe because I was already feeling judged, my kinks were more of an exposed nerve than usual. “Sir?” I shocked myself and barely opened my eyes enough to see him and felt better hiding that way. “Can we please go to the living room?”
He nodded, and my heart settled back into my chest and out of my throat. My adrenaline spiked for no reason I could pinpoint, and I followed purposefully behind him into the other, more comfortable room, my head giving a vicious thump that had me gritting my teeth.
“Chances of this coming up are slim, but I should probably call you… um, Jayce. Get used to it.” His first name felt strange and clumsy on my tongue, and I knew what would feel better, but I almost didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to imprint my stupid tongue with Sirs for him because then I’d always want to do it.
“Makes sense.” He smiled at me so wide the corners of his warm blue eyes crinkled as he sat down on the couch. That smile seemed sincere, and he… well… what he’d done last night went a long way to soothe that small voice in me that was always tense and waiting to run like an animal about to be caged. There were a lot of ways to be hurt when you went out looking for sex the way I did, and he had kinda sorta saved me from my bad choices.
Ugh, he rescued me.
The last time I’d gotten entangled with a Dom, it had made me feel like the worst piece of castoff trash when our relationship came to a flaming fucking end. It still fucked with me that Buddy had been able to keep a boyfriend and me at the same time. I thought I was smart. I still wasn’t sure how he’d pulled it off. I had been a toy to Buddy, which alone would have been hot, but I wasn’t hisfavorite toy, and that hurt.
Paxton—hell, Jayce.Wait, fuck—Sir.Sir gave me a considering stare as I sank to my knees on the hardwood floor, facing him. It hurt to get comfortable and in the proper position with my spine straight and my hands clasped at the small of my back. My stomach wobbled and my brain didn’t appreciate me trying to trick it into getting into a subby mindset, but what-the-fuck-ever. Dima’s big eyes kept haunting me. How many more Dimas were there? How many more Sebs? I couldn’t let a trafficking ring go on in New Gothenburg, not if I had it in me to help put a stop to it.
But this thing with Jayce? It was pretend. It wasn’t real. Problem was, I had to feel like everything was genuine, or anyone who looked at us interacting would see me being my usual arrogant prick self and wouldn’t believe for a second Jayce was my Sir. I moved my hands to scrub at my face, knocking my glasses askew as I rubbed at my eyes, and a gentle touch landed on my shoulder. My first impulse was to shove him off, but I forced myself to let his hand stay.
Whatever Sir wants, Sir should get.
Taking deep breaths, I tried to sink into the part of me that fucking adored my Sir, whoever he was, even if he was only my Sir for an hour, or a night.Sir always knows best. Sir always knows what is right. Sir cares about me—or at least wanted to take pleasure in me, and that was good enough.
“Sir,” I said, fixing my glasses. “I’m going to call you Sir and nothing else for the time being. Are you… are you all right with that?” I winced, hated even asking the question right now. It destroyed my sense of right and wrong.
Sir nodded carefully, and I didn’t let myself meet his gaze, but his smile had fled. “Sounds good. What should I be doing? This can’t be that difficult.”
“Why?” I asked, and cringed at my shitty tone.
“Little spanking, little rough-tumbling. I can do that. I know how to move a man around and make his body feel good.”
My face heated, and to keep myself grounded I picked a point on him where his hand rested on his knee and stared at it. Some floatiness settled into my mind, and I chalked it up to the goddamned hangover I had because there was no way I was actually sinking into subspace just by being on the floor. That was stupid. He was big, though. Could he pick me up and fuck me while holding me?
No, don’t go there.But I did want to rest my head on his lap, and I did want him to tell me what to do, on some level, even if he wasn’t really my Sir.
I sighed. “I’ve missed…. Never mind.”
