“Who?”
“The Maeleons of my village,” I spat. “They blamed Unit 44. They thought it was all his fault! Theykilledhim because of me!”
Paz’s eyes rounded. They swam with emotion: sympathy, anger, and despite everything, still love.
“They sacrificed him to the Soul of Eukaria?” Paz asked quietly.
I felt winded. I didn’t expect to hear those words come from his mouth. They felt too close to home.
“How do you know about that?” I demanded.
A wry smile touched his lips. “Because when our ship crashed on Eukaria, it scorched the Sweetfields. We committed the same crime, and we almost met the same fate. But Zat’tor saved us because what happened was an accident. We didn’t mean any harm.” His smile fell. “But Unit 44 did.”
I didn’t realize I was trembling until Paz’s palm curled tighter on my arm. I forced myself to still, but it wouldn’t stop.
“He did not,” I said under my breath, but it sounded frail. “It was my fault he died.”
Paz’s mouth was a thin line. “It was his own fault. He knew exactly what would happen, because you told him. What he didn’t realize is that Maeleons aren’t stupid. They recognized that he manipulated you.”
“I still did it,” I muttered bitterly. “If I didn’t, he’d still be alive.”
My head swam. I felt like I was being churned in choppy waters, unable to reach land or take a solid breath.
Paz put his arm around me—he was so small, it only reached half of my back. “Don’t blame yourself. He used you for his own twisted reasons. Think of it this way, Kur’tok: if Unit 44 never showed up, would you have burned anything down?”
I paused. “No.”
“There you go. Did anyone else get hurt?”
“No villagers. They fled quickly when they smelled the smoke.” I stared at the grass. “The plants were burnt.”
Paz nodded solemnly. If he knew about the Soul of Eukaria, he must know how much plant life meant to Maeleons. Most of them, anyway.
“Plants grow back,” Paz said.
I leaned against him, feeling heavy with guilt. “I only meant to burn the corner of my den. Just enough for him to see. I didn’t mean for the flames to get so out of hand...”
“That’s what fire does,” Paz said mildly, as if comforting a child.
I felt horrible. I wished the ground would swallow me up.
“I never forgave the Maeleons for what they did to Unit 44,” I muttered. “After the village was destroyed, we all dispersed to other ones nearby. They welcomed us with open arms. Me, Haz’rull and Arr’tow were accepted into the Sweetfields village you know. But their kindness only infuriated me. I never stopped being angry. I couldn’t stop thinking about how Maeleons killed my best friend. My mentor.”
Paz grimaced, but he didn’t interrupt.
“I kept eating meat. I kept stewing in my rage,” I growled.
“You kept pushing people away,” Paz said.
I couldn’t deny it. He’d seen right through me, the way he always did.
I let out a bitter laugh. “Hmph.” My claw dragged in the sandy earth, drawing lazy scribbles. “I guess it worked, because they finally kicked me out. Sent me on a quest of self-reflection. Asked me not to return until I’d changed my antisocial behavior.”
Realization dawned on Paz’s face. He glanced down at my doodles. “I get it now. That was why Tau’run acted weird when I asked about your ‘quest.’”
I narrowed my eyes. “Tau’run? That yellow fruit-eater? Why were you speaking? Are they sexually interested in you?”
Paz laughed airily. “No, you big goof. And I don’t like them that way. I only loveyou. Romantically, sexually, all that stuff.”
