I caught it with my tentacle. “Thanks.”
My tongue felt unaccustomed to the word, but I was getting used to it.
What I wasn’t used to yet was the fact that Ihada filum. Why me, of all people? Why hadn’t it happened to Arr’tow or Haz’rull instead?
Suddenly feeling sullen, I stared at the ground, but Haz’rull caught my gaze.
“What’s wrong, Kur’tok?” they asked. “You should be happy, but you look subdued.”
The emotions simmering in my chest exploded to a boil, threatening to overflow. I clenched my fists at my sides.
“I... I don’t deserve this,” I muttered so quietly it was barely audible.
The other Maeleons exchanged a rapid glance. Their silence was intense. It was the first time I’d acknowledged any fault in front of them.
Arr’tow swallowed, long throat bobbing. “Does Paz know yet?”
A tense pause followed their question.
“No.” A chill ran down my spine. “If he knew, then...”
I didn’t even want to say it out loud. I couldn’t imagine a life without Paz—my filum.
It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t the past go away? Why did it have to crawl into the present and torture me?
I wanted to run away. I wanted to forget. But I couldn’t—not again. I’d never leave Paz, and I refused to run away from my problems anymore.
“Why haven’t you two abandoned me yet?” I asked, facing my two former friends.
Arr’tow’s feelers flashed a sad blue, the opposite of their pink scales. Their reply was soft and quiet. “We know you didn’t mean it, Kur’tok.”
Haz’rull solidly met my gaze, their eyes flashing. “And we know there’s more to you than what you’ve become.”
Both of their comments churned inside me like a frothy river. After everything I’d put them through, the two Maeleons clung to me like stubborn burrs. Did I even deserve their undying friendship? I wasn’t sure.
“You selflessly saved Paz from that krokutta,” Haz’rull reminded me. “You didn’t worry about getting hurt. You only cared about him.”
My hand grazed absentmindedly over the healing wounds. I hissed as they stung. But if Paz hadn’t tended to them, they’d be much worse.
Despite their comforting words, my stomach still clenched with hot anger, all of it directed at myself. It poured over andover, cycling through me like a waterfall. Saving Paz couldn’t make up for all the horrible things I’d done...
“Show him,” Haz’rull said abruptly.
I stopped breathing for a few seconds. I couldn’t.
Could I?
“Show me what?” Paz asked.
I nearly jolted out of my skin as Paz strolled up beside me. He casually grabbed the fruit from my tentacle and took a bite.
My heart pounded. How much had he overheard?
And how long would I keep hiding things from him?
I dragged my gaze onto Paz’s adorable face. His warm brown eyes were like little beacons of sunshine.Hewas the sun breaking through my tumultuous storm.
I exhaled low and slow through my nostrils. I couldn’t keep lying to Paz anymore. He had to know the truth.
