“It’s intense,” Cobalt finished. “It’s dangerous to everyone except that dragon’s mate. I came very close to going feral once when Muzo was in danger.”
Alaric nodded solemnly. “I see.” He looked at my brothers. “What about the rest of you?”
They all shook their heads, which made me feel worse. As far as I knew, they were telling the truth. I’d never witnessed any of my brothers gone truly feral—at least, none of the ones present.
I winced with shame. I was supposed to be calm, respectable and intelligent. I was supposed to be the trustworthy one, the one constantly in full control. Not a wild beast.
“It’s a terrible loss of control,” I went on, lowering my gaze. “You’re not yourself—but the worst part is that youare. You’re the wildest, most primal version of yourself, operating on instinct alone. You would do anything—hurt anybody—if it meant keeping your mate safe.”
Alaric shuddered. Now that the heightened emotions were over, I wondered if he was shaken by the events.
“I’m sorry,” I said to him. “I never wanted you to see me that way. It was undignified.”
He smirked. “It’s fine, Jade. You’re my mate. I want to knowallof you, even the darkest parts.”
My heart fluttered. I knew Alaric wasn’t only referring to the debacle that had just occurred, but was also alluding to my perverted tastes. It was our mutual secret.
Alaric’s words were true. Out of everyone in the world, only he knew my deepest truths. That was a comforting light in the pitch blackness.
“Hey, um,” Thystle began, voice shaky. “We should apologize too, Jade. And to you, Alaric. This is our fault.”
“Yeah,” Saffron said as he rubbed his arm. “It was our stupid idea to put Alaric in bondage. We had no clue what we were doing.”
“We just figured you’d both like it.” Aurum grimaced as he looked at Alaric. “Did we hurt you, man?”
“The restraints were a bit tight, but I’ll live,” Alaric admitted, flashing them a forgiving smile. “I have my own blame in this. I should’ve known better. I’m sorry for worrying you, Jade.”
Alaric kissed my forehead, and I sighed contentedly. That small gesture felt so nice after my explosion of stress.
“Let’s go home,” Alaric declared.
I was happy to let him take the lead.
16
Alaric
It wasquiet on the way back to the castle. After we arrived, the group split up, and Jade’s brothers gave us space to be alone. I hadn’t seen Viol since he disappeared after the altercation.
Back in his office, Jade seemed more like himself. He took a quick shower to rinse off the cold sweat, then threw on his robe before slumping into his library armchair with a long sigh. His appearance was back to normal, with his glasses perched on his nose and his hair neatly tied, but he was obviously still rattled.
“I’m sorry, Alaric,” he murmured, rubbing his temple. “I cannot believe I behaved in that atrocious manner.”
I grinned. “You must be feeling better, since you’re back to fancy words and full sentences.”
He returned a wry smile. “It’s odd. It feels like it happened a long time ago, yet my chest still aches. It feels... raw.”
I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around him from behind, pressing my cheek to his damp hair. I had conflicted emotions about the whole thing. On one hand, I couldn’t help but be flattered by Jade’s devotion to me. It was violent, sure, but undeniably pure. The selfish part of me could overlook the bad in favor of the good.
And yet, I felt terrible for Jade. It wasn’t easy for him to be reduced to that primal state. He took pride in himself. He was a respectable man, an upstanding alpha, and a good older brother. When he went feral, he was none of those things.
“I won’t let that happen to you again,” I promised.
Jade shivered. He blew out a breath and relaxed into the seat. He touched my arms where they wrapped around him.
“Thank you,” he murmured.
He was quiet for a while before his face warped into a pained wince.
