“About what?” I asked.
Alaric wrinkled his nose. “What we just did was really intimate. Especially for you, right?”
I nodded slowly. I’d already told Alaric about my lack of experience—and desire—with other people.
“You are my first,” I said. “And only.”
Emotion flickered on Alaric’s face. The evening darkness couldn’t hide the blush blooming in his cheeks.
“Don’t get me all sappy while I’m trying to tell you something,” he complained.
I smiled. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve never... tied up someone else. Or done any of that other stuff we just did.”
“Never,” I agreed. “Only to inanimate objects.”
His voice was solemn as he skipped the jokes this time. “So, it was deeply personal for you. And vulnerable.”
I wondered what he was getting at. Whatever he intended to confess, it was clearly emotionally taxing.
“Yes, that’s right,” I said.
Alaric grimaced. He squeezed my fingers tighter.
“I haven’t been fair,” he finally said. “You opened yourself up completely. You shared your deepest desires with me, even though I invaded your privacy and saw things I shouldn’t have seen.”
Our first meeting seemed like a lifetime ago. Now, I couldn’t imagine a world without him.
“It’s all right,” I reassured him. “Yes, it was complicated at first. But I shared my secrets with you because I wanted to.” I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb. “I trust you.”
A pained look marred his beautiful eyes. “Iforcedyou to trust me. I blackmailed you. I said I’d tell everyone your secret if you kicked me off the show, even though I was the one who broke the rules.” He let out a disgusted sound. “I was so desperate to win, I almost hurt you.”
The outburst of pain surprised me. This wasn’t like him at all. How long had this agony been simmering in secret?
I turned to face him. “You did not hurt me, Alaric. You’ve only improved my life. I’m glad you’re in it.”
There were three more words I wanted to say, but I faltered. I didn’t want to derail his moment.
Alaric exhaled shakily, then took a second to compose himself. “I feel the same way about you,” he murmured, sounding uncommonly fragile.
My instincts surged. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him as tight as possible. His shoulders trembled as he struggled to suppress a sob. I stroked his back in soothing motions. After a few moments, he calmed down.
“Ugh. Sorry,” he muttered. I could tell he hated crying.
I suddenly recalled something I’d read. “I’ve heard that BDSM scenes can cause bursts of emotion after they’re over. The participants might cry, even if they don’t feel upset. That’s why aftercare is important.”
Alaric snorted. “Good to know.”
“I should’ve provided it sooner,” I said, angry with myself.
“No, this is good,” Alaric promised, rubbing small circles in my back. “And hey, don’t make me comfortyouwhen I’m the one having an emotional breakdown.”
“My apologies.”
Eventually Alaric broke out of the hug and we sat on a downed log in the sand. Our hands were still intertwined. He seemed reluctant to let go, clinging to me like a baby kitten.
As the dark water flowed to the shore, Alaric broke the silence. “I was raised by a single dad.”
