“Yeah, a little,” I admitted.
His face softened. That was the thing about us. If one of us was vulnerable, the other was, too.
“It’s kind of a secret,” he said.
“We don’t keep secrets.”
I didn’t say it to scold him. It was an unspoken truth. We never hid shit from each other, ever.
“I know.” He heaved a sigh, fished his phone out of his pocket, then cradled it in his palm. “So... I’ve been talking to this guy online.”
“Uh oh.”
He frowned defensively. “What?”
I bit my tongue. Normally I would’ve made a smart-ass remark about how talking to random dudes online never ended well. But with how strained we were, I wasn’t sure if I should poke the bear.
“Nothing,” I said. “Go on.”
A dumb little smile played on Saffron’s lips. “He’s nice. We’ve been talking for a while, and I like him a lot.”
The hairs on the back of my neck bristled. He’d said two sentences about this online mystery man, and I already hated him. Why? I didn’t know. Instinct, maybe. In any case, I hoped his computer blew up and he couldn’t contact my brother anymore.
“Is that why you’re not excited about the Games?” I asked.
He hesitated. “I’m still excited.”
Now I was confused. “I thought you said it was bullshit.”
Groaning, Saffron slumped against the couch. “Dude, I dunno. It’s just a lot. And Jade sprung it on us so fast.”
A swarm of thoughts overwhelmed me. If Saffron was still excited for the Games, then his online relationship couldn’t bethatserious. That was a relief. But that didn’t explain why he was so vehemently against it.
“Isn’t this what you wanted? To find your mate?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t.
Something felt off. When I looked harder at him, I noticed telltale tension in the corners of his mouth. What was he holding back?
“Saff,” I said.
He winced. It was a nickname I only ever used in private. He knew shit was serious.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked.
He pulled a face like he was getting a root canal. Then he blurted out, “I didn’t want to share a season with you, okay?”
My jaw dropped. I stared at him blankly for what seemed like an eon.
“You’re not into romance. Fine. That’s cool. But I am! And now Jade roped us into this stupid gimmick just ‘cause we’re twins. Yeah, sure, but we’re not the same person!”
On one hand, I actually agreed with everything he said.
On the other, I wished he’d just punch me in the face instead—because that was how abrupt and painful his words felt.
My blood boiled with frustration. I didn’t know why I was so angry, but I couldn’t stop it.
