Kip shook his head. "It's not that. She says that all the time."
"Then what is it?"
He faced me with a furrowed brow and a pout. "She said... if I kept acting up, I'd end up like Noel."
Hearing that name out of nowhere felt like being slapped. Pain tugged at my heartstrings.
"That won't happen to you," I said firmly. "What happened to Noel was..." It was painful to even say his name. "It won't happen. Trust me."
Kip rubbed his arm. He looked relieved that I promised he wouldn't share the same fate. "Okay..."
I put on a smile for his sake. "Now let's get this dirt off," I said, wriggling the soapy washcloth at him like a worm.
Kip chuckled and splashed as I washed him. I was happy to see him return to his normal playful self, but his words haunted me.
Our friend Noel mysteriously disappeared years ago. He was older than me and Pascal, and took care of us like an older brother. Kip must've been barely old enough to remember the incident. Noel was here one day, happy and laughing, then gone the next without a trace. There wasn't a single clue about what happened to him or why. It hurt too much to talk about Noel, so we quietly assumed he had been kidnapped. Nobody batted an eye if a poor orphan disappeared except the people closest to them. Pascal and I were young ourselves when it happened so Headmaster forbid us to go searching for him, lest we end up like him too.
Right now, I was truly upset with Headmaster. What happened to Noel was a terrible accident, not leverage to threaten a child into obeying her. Most of the time I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but she’d crossed a line. I was torn between wanting to bring it up to Pascal later and keeping her chilling words to myself.
* * *
After Kip was washed,I had a slew of other chores to complete. I had to make sure the other children were clean, give their daily lessons, tend to the garden, and whatever additional tasks Headmaster assigned me. Taking care of a few dozen young orphans was made even harder by my chronic pain, but I'd learned a long time ago that it wasn't worth it to complain. Headmaster didn't care. She thought I was exaggerating and trying to skirt my responsibilities.
My whole body ached once everything was finished. I needed to sit down and rest, but I wanted to check on Pascal. I hadn't spoken to him since the bread incident this morning and I hoped Headmaster hadn't been too angry.
I poked my head into the kitchen. My heart stuttered when I saw Pascal slumped in a kitchen chair, his head buried in his hand.
"Pascal?" I called.
He instantly perked up, turning around to face me with a smile he quickly plastered on. "Oh, hey, Florian. Are you done with your chores for the day?"
He was acting strange, like he was hiding something from me. "Yes. How are you?"
"I'm fine!"
Pascal's chipperness was strained. He clearly wasn't fine, but why was he hiding it from me? We didn't hide anything from each other.
Then I recalled what happened earlier and I felt the sting of guilt. I would be a hypocrite if I didn't tell Pascal the truth.
"Did Headmaster find out about the bread?" I asked, lowering my voice.
He grinned, looking proud of himself. "No. I cleaned it off just in time. She's none the wiser. I don't think we or the kids care if we're eating floor bread."
I smiled. It was hard to stay in a bad mood around Pascal. He radiated a warm energy that made you feel good. I was glad to have him in my life. Being alone would be unbearable.
Once again my mind slipped back into worries.
I thought about Noel.
"Pascal, I have to tell you something," I murmured.
His eye darted in multiple directions and he bit his lip. "Wait. Me too."
My heart tumbled nervously. The air of uncertainty surrounding both of us made me uneasy. Was he going to tell me what was bothering him?
Pascal had spoken hurriedly, like he needed to get it off his chest, but now he hesitated. I wondered if it was difficult for him to say.
"Do you want to go first?" I asked. I touched his arm as a reminder that I was there for him.
