"I just don't feel the need."
Alice scowled. It was obvious she wasn't ready to let this go. "Why?"
"I don't know," I said with a shrug. I sat beside her and pulled out my meticulously handcrafted Bento box. "Can I eat my lunch now?"
Alice groaned in exasperation. "Fine, eat your food, but I'm not done with you yet."
I brought a piece of teriyaki salmon to my mouth with my chopsticks, then swallowed and said, "Go ahead."
Donna pointed to my box. "See? That's a beautiful lunch you've made, Stan. You clearly have good taste."
"Yeah, in anything besides fashion and self- grooming," Alice muttered. She leaned closer and asked in a small voice, "That looks really good. Can I try some?"
"Sure. Help yourself," I said.
As Alice picked at my food, Donna put her hand on my arm in a motherly gesture. "What we’re trying to say, Stan, is that maybe you just need someone to help bring you out of your funk."
I frowned at the implication that I was 'in a funk.' "What do you mean?"
"Well… People usually don't let their appearances fall into such disarray unless there’s something going on in here," she said quietly, tapping her head. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, of course. Everyone needs help from time to time."
I laughed out loud. "Sure, I can agree with that."
Donna perked up. "Does that mean you'll—"
I put up a hand. "I'm not sayingIneed help. Because I don't. But I'm supportive of anyone who does. Can I have my bento box back now?"
Alice pushed it towards me, her expression a little less annoyed now that I let her sample my meal. "Look, Stan. I don't just think of you as a coworker, okay? You're my friend. That's why Donna and I are trying to help you." She frowned sympathetically. "When was the last time you had a date?"
I laughed again, except this time it came out more pathetic than intended. "Never."
Alice's eyebrows shot into her hairline. "Wait. What do you mean never?" She leaned in closer and hissed, "You've never been on a date in your entire life? Not even in high school or college?"
I stuffed rice into my mouth and shook my head so I didn't have to answer.
Alice shot Donna a grave look, like the situation was worse than she'd ever imagined.
Neither of them spoke a single word, but I somehow knew they were having a silent debate with their facial features alone. It lasted long enough for me to finish off my lunch. I sighed contentedly and neatly packed up my things.
"Well, that was a nice break," I said, getting up from the table. "I'll see you two around the office."
Donna and Alice both grabbed my arms.
"Wait," Alice said hurriedly. "Have you entered the contest yet?"
"What contest?" I asked.
She sighed like I was a simpleton who lived under a rock. "Haven't you seen the posters around the office? The company’s throwing a big contest where the grand prize is a week off work and private sessions with Fabian."
She said the name with gravitas, as if I was supposed to know who that was. "Who the hell is Fabian?" I asked. "Wait, did you say a week off work?"
"Anyway, you buy raffle tickets to enter, and the money goes to charity." Alice waved a hand. "The company is mostly doing it to look good, but hey, it's something. So, are you in?"
I blinked and took a moment to digest all the information Alice just threw at me. I raised a brow and asked, "Seriously, did you say a week off work?"
"Well, yeah, but those are for the private sessions with Fabian," she said. "They don't want you just sitting at home doing nothing."
"Okay… So who is Fabian? Are they someone famous?"
