Turns out lust is a stronger emotion than fear. Or was it something deeper than lust?
My face heated up until it was burning. I hadn't allowed myself to think about that with Jian after he'd disappeared. After all, how could you be in love with someone who'd fallen off the face of the earth? Being in unrequited love was awful, so I'd dashed my own hopes to protect myself.
But things were different now. Jian washere.In my apartment. Literally right beneath me.
Was it possible this time?
Before I knew it, the movie was over. For all my talk of being interested in the plot and characters, the climax came and went while I was daydreaming about my best friend.
I can't stay lying in his lap forever,I thought with a twinge of disappointment.I should get up...
I slowly lifted my body, ignoring my cells screaming at the lack of Jian's warmth. Jian's expression was kind yet distracted, like he hadn't been paying attention to the film either.
"It's pretty late," Jian remarked. "Time for bed?"
I noticed he didn't even comment on the movie. That confirmed my suspicion that his mind was elsewhere, too. My heart fluttered with cautious optimism.
"Yeah, good idea," I said. "Guess I'll make my bed on the floor."
"Kola," Jian said slowly.
"Yeah?"
Jian held my gaze. "You know, if you're frightened, you can stay here."
My brain short-circuited when I realized what he was implying.Heremeant on the couch. With him. Overnight. Literally sleeping with him.
I picked up my stupid hanging jaw. "Oh, yes. Um." I rubbed my arm. "That movie wasreallyscary."
Hey, it wasn't a lie.
Jian nodded. "Of course. I wouldn't want you to have nightmares."
"Right."
"Plus there's room for two."
Now that wasn't quite true. My couch was no luxurious, spacious entity. It was a basic two-seater I'd rescued from the thrift store. The only way two people could fit on it horizontally was if I laid right on top of Jian.
Is that... what he wanted?
My heart leapt into my throat, beating rapidly at the mental image. I yawned to cover up the sound of my racing heartbeat.
Jian chuckled. "Okay, Kola. Time for bed."
Yes, please.
He flicked the TV off, then sighed and laid his head on the pillow, getting comfortable. With his broad muscular body, he was almost too big for my crappy couch.
"Come on," Jian murmured. "Just like old times, right?"
I blushed furiously. I was glad the apartment was too dark for him to see my cheeks. We had sleepovers in the same bed as kids, before we were teenagers and our parents scolded us for being 'inappropriate' and we had to stop doing it, but that was different. We were adults now.
Still, there was no way I was pulling the plug on this. This is what I craved for so long.
I carefully laid on top of Jian's chest, trying to place my legs in a position that wasn't too awkward. Jian was sturdy and warm. Safe.
But it didn't matter how I situated myself—the fact was, our bodies were touching all over.
