"Hey, Bear. Not that I mind, but your hands are really cold," Ashe said, regarding me closely. "Are you okay?"
Of course he'd notice that. He was sharp. I couldn't hide anything from him.
And honestly, I didn't want to anymore.
As I was deciding how to piece my words together, Ashe tilted his head. "Wait a second. Do you hear that?"
I listened. It was faint, but it sounded like flowing water. It was coming from the direction I'd wandered off into by myself. I must not have noticed it in my frightened state.
"Yes."
"Water is always good. And if we're lucky, it might lead out of this dump."
We followed the sound to the source. The two paths converged into an open hollow, like the one I lived in but underground. Mushrooms lit up the area with their blue glow. In the center of the hollow flowed a narrow stream.
I put a hand on Ashe's shoulder to get his attention. "Let's take a break and rest here." I hesitated. "There's some things I want to tell you."
"Sure, of course."
I smiled. That was Ashe. Always ready and willing to listen, even if I was being a stubborn bear who refused to tell him. But not anymore.
We kneeled by the stream and drank from cupped hands. With our thirst slaked, we rested against the wall and watched the water flow. Ashe was right. That water had to come from somewhere outside.
Worry about that later. Tell him now, before you lose your nerve.
I took a deep breath. It was now or never. Ashe deserved to know the truth. All of it.
"My name wasn't always Bear," I began.
Ashe turned to me, watching intently. "What was it before?"
"I didn't have one before. My parents never named me."
His eyes widened. "What?"
"Or maybe they did, and stopped using it. I don't remember."
Ashe's jaw fell open. "What do you mean they didn't name you?" he sputtered. "That's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard!"
I shrugged. It was my life and I was used to it. But I had to admit, Ashe's indignation on my behalf felt nice.
"That's why my name is Bear. I named myself."
Ashe swallowed visibly, like his throat was tightening. Angry tears shone in his eyes.
"Well, I like it better than whatever name they gave you. Or I guess, didn't give you," he said hotly. He was pissed. "So they didn't care that you named yourself?"
"They didn't know. I picked my name after..."
I trailed off, not knowing how to word this part. Nobody knew about the incident except me. I'd never told anyone.
I gathered my nerve and began to sign.
"When I was young, we lived in a cave underground. It was just me and my parents." My hands moved in a halting, indecisive way. "I don't think my parents liked me. Because I couldn't speak."
Ashe frowned.
"They were okay when I was young. But as I got older and it became clear I wouldn't speak, they turned their backs on me. They ignored me and pretended I didn't exist." I stared at the ground. "I liked it better that way. When they did pay attention to me, it was worse."
