A warm feeling spread in my chest. How was he so kind? He was sweeter than a comb drenched in honey.
I wasn't cold at all, but I wasn't about to let his offer go to waste. I stopped midstride and wrapped my arms around him. His skin was warm and soft, and he smelled incredible. I squeezed tighter, not wanting to let go of him.
Ashe didn't struggle. He relaxed in my grip, his hands roaming gently over my back. My heart raced. It was beating so hard I was afraid he could feel it.
This was nice. Why hadn't I let myself do this before?
Ashe filled his lungs, then exhaled softly. His breath tickled me. Was he smelling me the same way I was smelling him?
Maybe it was the total silence and darkness, but the hug felt more intimate than I expected. It was more of a tender embrace than a hug for warmth.
Time slowed. In the black silence, there was nothing except the two of us. Without sight, my other senses kicked hard into overdrive. The smell of Ashe flooded my lungs, sending happy signals to my brain. Every inch of contact between our skin felt electric. His rhythmic, rapid breathing came out in soft puffs next to my ear. The only thing missing was to taste him.
But I couldn't do that…
Could I?
I've already done it once, a devilish voice in the back of my mind reminded me.
But that was instinct. It was my bear that wanted to lick him in an expression of gratitude. It wasn't the same as a kiss. Not really.
At least, that was what I kept telling myself as the urge to press my lips against him got stronger.
My heart was thumping hard now. Ashe definitely felt it. But I did, too. I felt thethud, thud, thudof his heartbeat nearly matching up with mine.
I felt... strange. Light, airy, and good. All my stress melted away.
For the first time in my life, everything felt right.
The sensation would have scared me in its intensity if I had the capacity to be afraid right now, but I didn't, like embracing Ashe this way put a protective barrier over me.
Did he feel the same way?
A powerful, desperate urge gripped me. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to be with him.
I wanted to kiss him.
I licked my lips. I'd never kissed anyone before. Why now? Why Ashe?
Deep down, I already knew the reason. There was nobody else in the whole world like Ashe. He was special. He accepted me despite my faults. He saved me despite my brokenness.
I think I love you,I wanted to say.
The mental image of it made my heart flutter. If only it were that easy. If that was the case, I wouldn't need a spirit's help—and I wouldn't have gotten us into our current mess.
No matter how badly I wished for it, the words would never break past my lips. Not until I got a spirit's blessing.
But there were other ways of expressing myself.
I drew back from the hug so Ashe and I were face-to-face. I felt as nervous as a fledgling at the edge of the nest—hopeful to fly but dreading the fall. In the dim tunnel, I only saw the wet flash of Ashe's eyes. No other part of him was visible.
I swallowed thickly, afraid to take the next step. Doubt clawed at me. If I kissed Ashe and he didn't reciprocate, could I live with myself? The rejection might break me.
But Ashe was worth the risk.
I leaned in, slowly enough that Ashe would feel the movement of my approach. If he didn't meet me halfway, I would know. I'd stop, message received.
Here goes nothing...
