I snorted. "It's fine. You're both welcome here."
"Thank you," Starry signed, beaming.
With Ashe safe and a new friend in Starry, we headed back to the hollow. But my conflicted mind was elsewhere.
If I found a spirit to grant my wish, would Ashe ever return my feelings?
* * *
I fishedup dinner for all of us from the local river. The practised mechanical act of swiping fish out of water was a welcome distraction from my thoughts. When I returned to the hollow, Ashe and Starry were sitting in their human forms outside on top of the hollow's grassy roof, their legs dangling over the lip of the entrance.
"Thanks!" Starry signed as I handed her a fat fish. Only her lion fangs shifted out as she took a huge bite of it.
I hesitated before handing one to Ashe, realizing I'd been too preoccupied to think of whether a deer shifter even ate fish or not.
"Is this okay for you to eat?" I asked.
Ashe smiled. "Yeah, for sure. I eat everything in human form. Though I usually prefer cooked over sushi..."
I didn't know what sushi was but I didn't bother asking. I sighed in relief, then slipped the fish into his hands. My fingers accidentally brushed against his. The slight contact sent a jolt up my arm and spread through my body. I quickly pulled back.
Gods, I was acting like a total fool.
Ashe regarded me but didn't say anything. He took a bite of his fish, wrinkling his nose and mumbling about the sliminess. I wondered if he felt the same electric spark that I did or if I was just crazy. I didn't have the courage to ask.
Starry gobbled up her fish and started signing a mile a minute to Ashe. The two of them obviously wanted to catch up on family stuff. I didn't mind. I was busy zoning out, smothered by my thoughts.
Until a certain snippet of their conversation caught me off guard.
"Yeah, with Quinn and Farley and those spirits, right? That was wild, I still can't believe that happened," Ashe said.
I whipped towards Ashe, grabbing his shoulder. "What did you say just now?"
Ashe blinked. "Huh? We were talking about our cousin and his mate."
"Not about your cousin. About the spirits."
"What about them?" Ashe asked cluelessly.
How could he be so casual about this?
I signed fast and hard. "Do you know about the spirits? I need to find one."
"Why?"
I couldn't tell him. It was too shameful. Even just having this condition was shameful.
Then I looked at Starry, so comfortable and at ease with herself, and I saw how much Ashe loved her, despite the fact that she was mute. For the first time since learning about the spirits, I felt a flicker of doubt. Was it really my condition holding me back?
Deep down, I knew the answer. Yes, it was. Because I wasn't Starry.
I was Bear. Unnamed and unlovable.
And if I could fix the reason my parents abandoned me, maybe—just maybe—somebody else would finally be able to love me.
"It's extremely important that I talk to a spirit," I told Ashe urgently. "Can you please tell me everything you know about them?"
"Um... Sure, Bear," Ashe said, even though he clearly didn't understand why. "Well, they're powerful immortal entities. Their powers depend on their element. I only know of three. Nautilus, the water spirit; Mistral, the air spirit; and..." He paused almost warily. "Animus."
