I laughed. Only Kamari would get annoyed that I was complimenting him. He hauled me to my feet and kissed me less roughly than earlier, as if to apologize for making me drink his huge load.
His eyes flicked down to my cock, which was still hard, and weighed his options. I waited patiently. When he couldn't seem to make up his mind, I said, "You know, you don'thaveto do anything. I can jerk myself off pretty well."
But that only made Kamari glare at me. "It's not that. I want to."
I tilted my head.
Kamari huffed, then reached for my cock. "Nevermind."
"Wait." I caught his wrist. "I'm serious, you know. I don't want you to feel like you have to reciprocate."
Kamari's glare melted as he laughed in exasperation, which seemed mostly directed at himself. "Zak. It's not that I want less.It's that... I wantmore."
13
Kamari
Sex shouldn't be complicated.It should be mindless. Primal and physical. But my brain decided suddenly that it was going to think of a whole lot of shit at once.
Having one orgasm wasn't enough. Even though Zak blew me and it was incredible, my cock wasn't satisfied. Greedy bastard.
And it wasn't just my cock. My asshole twitched in anticipation, even though it wasdefinitelynot getting any. None. Nobody, not an alpha, not even Zak was going near it.
At least, that's what I told myself before I started to change my mind.
What is Zak doing to me?
He kept surprising me at every turn. When I expected something of him, he did something else. It both annoyed me and drew me into him. Why was I annoyed? Because he didn't fit my idea of what an alpha should act like? Because Zak was special?
I no longer forced that thought away. Zakwasspecial. I admitted it. Kissing him felt good. Amazing, even. Having my dick sucked by him was mind blowing. The way he stared up lovingly into my eyes was the best of all.
Gods, I was a mess. I never thought I'd let an alpha get under my skin this badly.
I wanted him in me. There, I admitted it to myself. But it didn't relieve me. Instead it opened up a whole host of other problems. Namely, the sobering fact that I could get pregnant.
My heart skipped a beat. It wasn't in fear or horror, but a mild curiosity. Hope, even. That only served to confuse me further. I should notwantto become pregnant. Not with everything going wrong. Nautilus was still out of commission, I had omegas who needed me back at the haven, and it all felt like my responsibility. Adding a child to the mix wouldn't solve anything. It would only make things worse.
Right?
But Zak's previous words wormed into my head.Don't take on so much responsibility. You're not a martyr.
That support felt like a lifeline thrown my way. Before I met him, I had to do everything myself. Everythingwasmy responsibility, or at least it felt like it was. With Zak, it felt like I could stand still for a moment and just breathe.
"Kamari," Zak said.
A wave of embarrassment hit me when I realized I'd gone silent. I'd been so busy battling my thoughts that I'd forgotten we were in the middle of having sex.
"Sorry, I got distracted," I mumbled.
"It's okay. Talk to me. You said you wanted more, then got all quiet, so I don't know what's going on."
It was embarrassing to space out, but admitting the reason why was even more embarrassing. Still, I couldn't lie to Zak now.
I ran a hand through my hair, exhaling deeply. "I want you inside me."
Zak's eyes widened slowly. Excitement then confusion flickered over his face. "But..."
"Exactly," I said when I knew he arrived at the same conclusion I did. If Zak penetrated me, there was the very real possibility I could get pregnant.
