Sighing, Nero glanced across the river. "It did to me too. I know it sounds like a load of crap, but it's true. Then again, I know what it feels like not to believe it until it happens to you."
I rolled my eyes. That was never going to happen.
"Bro, Iseeyou rolling your eyes."
"Well, I wasn't trying to hide it."
Nero grinned and gave me a playful shove.
I rubbed my arm. "Hey, you know I bruise like a peach. If and when I find my mystical fated mate, then I have to be in perfect condition." I tossed my hair back.
He snorted. "I know you're joking, but it doesn't work like that. If you find your fated mate, they're not gonna care what you look like. It's deeper than that."
I winced as he said it.If. Notwhen.
Nero's eyes flashed with guilt as he realized it too. "Nishiki, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
I sighed, a little more dramatically than I intended, then leaned back against the sand, careful to hold my hair over my chest so it didn't get grainy.
"It's fine," I said honestly. I was used to it by now. And I couldn't blame Nero. He'd seen me go through countless dead-end relationships. When we were teenagers living together, we even made an inside joke of it. Every time I came back to the apartment, Nero would ask who my date was for the day. We both thought it was funny back then, but I could tell he felt retroactively bad about it now.
"No, I'm serious. If it happened to me, then I'm sure it'll happen to you too."
I didn't believe him for a second, but if it made him feel better to say it, then I wouldn't disagree.
He tried to sidestep the subject. "Do you ever want kids?"
I didn't know what I wanted anymore. The majority of me screamed no. I didn't feel like the type of person who should be a parent. I was self-centred, preoccupied with my own needs most of the time. Not only that, but I remembered with deep shame the hell we put our mother through sometimes. Would I be able to deal with that?
Then again, Nerowasdealing with it. He was the last person I expected to want to be a father, but here he was doing an amazing job with Zak. He was a healthy and happy little boy. I had to give Nero credit where it was due.
"I don't know," I said, my voice almost a whine. "Can we talk about something else? Like how much I miss going to the mall?"
Nero burst out laughing. "Sure. Let's talk about that."
"Seriously, would it kill somebody to build some stores out here? I'd even settle for a strip mall."
Nero delved into all the reasons why no, they were not going to build a mall near a wildlife reserve, but I didn't really mean it. I just wanted to stop talking about the fated mates, lovey-dovey relationship crap.
Call me bitter, but it was tough to hear when I knew I was fundamentally unlovable.
