Another pang of guilt went through me. "I know I apologized before, but let me do it again."
"No, no, no. I've heard enough of that. Besides, if you’d never hunted me, I never would have met you." He smiled. "Now that I know you, I don't want to think about a life where I don't."
My heart skipped a beat. Did Nishiki know what kind of sweet things he was saying? Things no other alpha had said to me in the past? Of course, I felt the same about him. I regretted the action, but not the consequence.
I'm getting ahead of myself.
The logical part of me wanted me to calm down. A single good night with someone did not automatically mean they were a good fit for a permanent partner. Nishiki had a family and a life besides me. It would be selfish to assume he would prefer my presence over theirs.
Besides, Nishiki hadn't claimed me. He hadn't given me his knot, even though my heat was raging. I was mature and experienced enough to calm it down for the duration of our journey, but I didn't know what he was feeling on his end. There was no doubt that hewasan alpha. So then why didn't he want to penetrate me? Was I undesirable to him in some way?
The same way I am to every other alpha in the world?
"Hey, Weston, are you okay?" Nishiki called.
His voice jarred me to reality. He was walking ahead of me, pausing to glance back. I hadn't realized I'd fallen so deep into my thoughts.
"Sorry. I'm fine," I said.
I quickly caught up to him, trying not to think about the fact that the motion stirred up my heat scent even more. I searched Nishiki's expression from the corner of my eye. He seems to be focused on the forest ahead.
Does he really not notice it…?
I could have just asked him. The problem was that my normally honest and blunt tongue was suddenly shy. I usually had no problem asking exact questions to get the truth out of people, but now it felt difficult, like formulating the words was a monumental task.
Either that, or I was afraid of the answers.
Dread stewed in the pit of my stomach. That was it. I was terrified that if I asked the question, Nishiki would give me an answer that I didn't want. It was a strange feeling, not one I was used to. I was good at rolling with the punches, accepting whatever life had to offer me and making my way through it with my own grit and skills.
I watched Nishiki's golden hair swaying as he walked, mesmerized, and felt like a complete fool.
The thought struck me like lightning.Is Nishiki my fated mate?
It was one of those far-fetched ideas, an inconceivable fantasy. But once it had wormed its way into my brain, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I tried to blame it on the raging hormones addling my perception and my inhibitions. But then again, I had never been one of those omegas who automatically assumed every alpha I ever met was my fated mate. I was realistic enough to require a genuine connection, and this was the only time I had ever felt anything resembling one.
“You said your brother had a mate, right?" I said.
The words came out of me on their own, like my brain was running on autopilot. By the time I realized what I was saying, it was too late.
"Yeah," Nishiki said. I thought I heard a hint of longing in his voice. "It's funny. Nero is a shark shifter, but his mate is a wolf, and their kid is a wolf but with water powers or something?"
"How much do you know about their relationship?"
Weston, for gods' sake, stop talking.
"Well…" Nishiki began fiddling with the ends of his hair, the way he did when he was deep in thought or distracted. "They call themselves fated."
My heart stuttered.
"It sounds really silly, honestly," he went on. "I thought Nero was joking when he first told me. He's never really been a romantic guy. Or at least, he wasn't before he met Remington." Nishiki paused and stared up at the blue sky filtering in through the canopy of trees. "He seems different now. But not in a bad way. It's like… he's a better version of himself."
There was a long pause. I wish I knew what Nishiki was thinking.
"Is that a normal thing?" Nishiki asked slowly, turning to me.
My throat felt a bit dry. "Is what normal?"
"The whole… fated mates thing."
