"But why?" I blurted out, sincerely baffled.
Weston tilted his head. He observed me for a moment, then said, "You seem to be overestimating the quality of potential mates I've interviewed. They've been unimpressive in general."
The phrasepotential matesstuck with me. That was right—shifters didn't just think of people in terms of dating. It was always a partnership in which they referred to each other as mates, sometimes evenfatedmates, which I still thought sounded silly.
But there was nothing silly about the way Nero and his mate Remington interacted with each other. They were obviously deeply, genuinely in love. There was no doubt about that. It was the kind of adoration that made me envious.
But how could all of them be as unimpressive as Weston said? How many of them even were there?
"You… date frequently?" I asked, trying not to cringe at my awkward question.
“Yes," Weston said bluntly. "At least, I used to. Most of my spare time was taken up by trying out new partners."
A jealous little worm wiggled in my stomach. "By trying out, you mean…?"
I thought I saw the hint of a smirk on Weston's face, but he was amused. "Not sexually. I meant as a potential long-term partner, simply to test our compatibility. But if I don't even get along with somebody as a friend, then creating a partnership is out of the question."
I blew out a small sigh of relief before I realized I was doing it. It wasn't like I had some kind of claim over Weston, but the idea of him being with somebody elselike thatseriously upset me. It was ridiculous.
As I stewed in my thoughts, I noticed Weston regarding me more closely than usual. Being under the scrutiny of those piercing yellow eyes made me shiver. It was like Weston could see directly into my soul.
A whimsical stray thought floated into my mind. What if Westoncouldsee into me? What if he saw past my appearance, which everyone else in the world seemed to get stuck on, and saw the man I was inside?
Now I was really waxing poetic. He was probably just looking at me in a normal way. I had to get over myself
"What about you?" Weston asked.
"Sorry?"
"I'm curious to know if you feel any more particular pull to find a partner ever since your awakening."
"Actually," I mumbled, "I think I do. It's weird." I rubbed my arm. "It's not like I’ve ever actually been shy about dating—back when I thought I was a human, anyway—but ever since I awakened to being a shifter, it all feels more serious somehow. Maybe it's because I watched my brother fall in love and start a family." A bitter note crept into my voice. "Meanwhile, all I've ever done is get dumped repeatedly when guys realize they only like me for my looks and not my personality."
Weston's brows crept up. "How do you know that?"
"What do you mean?"
“Has anyone ever said that to you?"
I let out a humourless laugh as the stinging memory came back to me. "Actually… yes. I always figured it was implied whenever I got broken up with or ghosted, but one of my ex-boyfriends actually said that to me." My mouth curved into a grim smile. "I was frustrated with him not answering my texts even though I knew he was off work. He wouldn't answer my calls, either. I got so fed up that I went to his apartment to demand his attention. Just before slamming the door in my face, he said not even my 'hot body' could make up for my whiny, clingy attitude."
I pulled myself out of the memory, not wanting to reside there anymore. But when I came back to reality, I realized Weston was trembling. At first a horrible thought struck me—was he laughing? But then I noticed the clenched fists at his sides and the tension in his shoulders. He was livid.
"Unforgivable," he muttered. "I can't believe anyone would ever treat you that way."
His reaction took me by surprise. "I mean, it was a little silly of me to go over to his house. I probably should've just taken the hint."
"No. That kind of behaviour is unfair to you, Nishiki. It's dehumanizing."
The intensity of his words was both shocking and a little gratifying. Still, I felt the need to make light of it. "Even if I'm not human anymore?"
Ignoring my petulant statement, Weston took a step closer and put his hands on my arms. His skin was so warm—so why did it make me shiver?
I was glad Weston didn't say anything right away because I wasn't sure if I would hear it. I was too focused on his physical proximity to me. His yellow eyes gripped mine and wouldn't let go. Up close, I saw flecks of gold and silver in their depths. They were the most stunning pair of eyes I'd ever seen, especially in contrast to the rich darkness of his skin.
I felt my face growing hot again but there was nothing I could do to stop it.
"You are human," Weston said. "You are also a koi. It's true that you’re the most beautiful man I've ever met, but that's not the only thing that you are. You are not just one thing, Nishiki. You are so much more than that."
