I hoped he was right.
After our break, we shifted and headed towards the grove. The familiar feeling of long grass under my paws and the familiar-smelling breeze soothed my nerves. I almost laughed to myself. When did this place become my home? I'd been a loner for so long that I never thought I'd be anything else. And then Len, Hugo and the others somehow wormed their way into my heart. They accepted me as one of them when I'd been so awful in the past.
"What if theydon'taccept me?" I blurted out. I skidded to a halt, my claws digging into the dirt.
Orpheus didn't stop flying. He soared calmly in a loose circle above my head. "Okay. What if? Tell me the worst thing that would happen."
"Gee, thanks."
"I'm serious. That's one of the things I asked myself before I left my Treachery. Orpheus, I thought, what is the worst damn thing that could happen if you go through with this? The answer I came up with was that I would be alone, with none of the people from my past—people I'd grown up with—in my life anymore."
I sat down, anxiously curling my tail over my paws. "Then what?"
"Well, you obviously know what I decided," he said with amusement. "Being alone was the worst thing that could happen. But was being surrounded by shitty people better than being by myself? The suffering that I went through wasn't worth the reward. So I made the choice to leave."
I fidgeted. Orpheus's example made sense. But as much as I try to apply it to my own life, there was a mental wall blocking me. I didn't want to lose what I had. It meant too much to me.
The worst thing that could happen… the pack didn't accept me. They sent me away. I would never see any of them again. I would never see any of thechildrenagain. Pain hit me like an arrow to the heart. That thought was too much to bear.
But was it worth hiding who I was? I didn't have trouble doing that before, but even that had a time limit now. Soon I would be visibly showing and the pack would want answers.
I gazed at Orpheus, whose calm confidence seemed to say, you can do it.
A slow-building determination crept up on me. It was now or never.
I got up and shook my pelt, then broke into a sprint. Orpheus followed, flying over me like a dark guardian angel. I’d called him that before, but this time I really meant it. If he wasn't here with me, I don't know if I would be able to do this.
Sage was the first to notice me. He leapt up, abandoning a well-read picture book on the ground as he threw his arms in the air and cried out, "Red’s back!"
His genuine happiness to see me chipped away at my wall of hesitation.
His daughter Starry joined in his enthusiasm, yowling in her kitten form as she tumbled behind her dad. Her other dad, Xander, wasn't far behind.
News travelled quickly around the grove. Everyone else gathered to meet us at the bottom of the grassy slope. A wave of emotion came over me. All the adults and all the kids were waiting forme. Did they miss me? Was I that important to them?
A sarcastic, pessimistic voice in the back of my head said:okay, pack your bags, because this is the last time they'll be so happy to see you.
I ignored it. I wasn't going to let it stop me. The pack wasn't my parents. They had been more of a home to me than my folks ever were.
Things were going to be different this time.
"Red!" Len cried. "How was your vacation?"
"Yeah, you have a lot of fun with Orpheus?" Sage asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Behind him, Xander rolled his eyes and covered Starry’s ears.
Orpheus swooped down and shifted as he hit the ground so we were all in our human forms. He grinned and put his arm around me. "As a matter fact, we did."
"Called it," Sage said. He nudged Remington, who was standing beside him, playfully with his elbow.
Remington groaned. "Called what? We all knew that they were together."
"Yeah, but I was the one who thought they would make a cute couple before anyone else," Sage replied.
"Anyways," Hugo said, cutting off his younger brother before he could say anything else. "I'm glad to see you two back."
Warmth spread in my chest. Hugo's words were genuine. He'd truly accepted me, even after what I'd done. A wave of emotion hit me and I tried to hold back tears.
Do not cry, dammit,I warned my raging pregnancy hormones.Save that shit for later.
