"Because you thought they would reject you?" Orpheus asked.
I nodded. "This is the closest thing to a family I have. The thought of losing them... I don't even want to think about it."
Orpheus leaned his weight against me comfortingly. "Red, these people are the nicest I've ever met. The thought of them rejecting you over something like this is ridiculous."
"You don't know my past," I said, a little snappishly.
He wasn't put off. "Then tell me."
I bit my lip. Unlike my fluid identity, this was part of myself that I was actually ashamed of. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Can I give you the whole story? Though I warn you, it might take all damn night."
Orpheus grinned and patted my knee. "Like I've anywhere else to be. I'm listening."
How was this conversation going so perfectly? Orpheus should have been long gone by now, scared off by my identity, but he was still here. Maybe I should've given him more credit.
"I knew I was fluid when I was a teenager, still hanging around the den with my parents," I began. "In hindsight, I should've kept it to myself, but I was still young and naïve back then. When my parents started badgering me about how to find a mate when I was older, I wondered how it would work. They were an alpha and omega, but I felt like both. I didn't know which one I should seek out. Gods, it's embarrassing to think about how dumb I was back then."
Orpheus gripped my hand. "You're not dumb. You're my clever fox."
He made me blush, which meant I was too distracted to argue with him. Smart ass.
"I ended up telling them how I felt. Big mistake." I rolled my eyes. "They both went ballistic, telling me I was a freak of nature, that I should just 'pick one.' And by that, they meant the status they pushed on me when I hit puberty."
Puberty was when shifter children began to exhibit signs of being an alpha, beta or omega. All of the kids in our pack were still too young. I treated them all equally to prevent any bias leaking into my actions in case I had any hunch as to what they would grow up to be. Since all the pairs of fated mates in the pack were alphas and omegas, their kids would probably be one or the other.
Sometimes I wondered if any of the kids in the pack, upon puberty, would confide in me about identifying a different way. I hoped that in that case, I'd provided them with a safe environment to feel comfortable enough telling me. I never wanted another kid to go through what I went through.
"I'm sorry, Red," Orpheus murmured. "That's a terrible way to treat a child."
"So you don't agree with them?"
"I'll be honest. I don't really understand, and I don't think I ever completely will, because I'm not in your paws." He met my gaze with warm kindness and sympathy. "But that doesn't mean I don't respect you, or that I agree with treating you like shit because of the way you are."
Dammit, my eyes were welling up again. What was this man doing to me?
"I appreciate that," I said.
Orpheus smiled. "That doesn't mean I'm not willing to learn. I said I wanted to be with you and I mean it. So I hope you have the patience for me and my stupid reactions." He winked.
I smiled back, then realized I hadn't finished my story. Unfortunately, I was getting to the bad part—the part that might scare him off for good.
"After my parents shunned me, I realized there was no point in sticking around. I went off on my own, but the experience rattled me. I thought that if my own parents didn't accept me, then no one would, so what was the point in being a good person?" I grimaced at the memories. "I acted out. Badly. I harassed animals and shifters alike, and even humans when I got the chance."
Orpheus let out a grim chuckle. "That sounds familiar…"
He was right. Hearing about his similar past made me feel more comfortable in telling him mine. We really were two peas in a pod, just like he'd said.
"Here comes the bad part that makes me worse than you," I warned him.
"Uh huh," Orpheus replied, not believing me.
“You know Len, the hare shifter omega in the pack? The first time I met him, I was hunting him."
"That's not so bad. You mean before you knew he was a shifter, right?"
"No. I knew he was and I kept chasing him anyway."
Orpheus winced. "Oh."
