I paused, then asked, “Do you think of me as a kid, Red?”
“Er, why do you ask?”
“Because you just lumped me in with them.”
Realizing his verbal blunder, Red grimaced. “Aw, man. I didn’t mean it like that.”
But I was already upset and walking away. I didn’t know why this was bothering me so much lately. I knew the rest of the pack thought I was naïve because of the way I spoke and acted, but that didn’t mean I waschildish.Did they really think I couldn’t take care of myself?
“Sage.” Xander’s deep voice came from beside me. He’d caught up with me and took my hand. “Are you all right?”
I made some noncommittal sound because I didn’t want to admit my feelings. I hated being annoyed at my family.
Xander lowered his voice, speaking quietly. “I’m your mate, Sage. You can talk to me.”
That made me stop in my tracks. I made sure Red was out of earshot—he had shifted back to fox form and was sitting meekly where I’d left him, his ears folded back. From his body language alone, I could tell he regretted what he said.
I allowed Xander to hold me. “Sorry. I’m not usually such a downer.”
“You’re not a downer for experiencing emotions,” Xander reassured me.
“They’re not feelings I usually have. I dunno how to react to them.” I sighed. “It’s like the whole pack thinks of me as just another kid. An older one, sure, but still one that needs to be watched and taken care of, and stuff…”
“You’re saying they think you’re immature?”
I nodded. “I guess I am, compared to my brothers. Even Hugo’s not that much older than me, but he’s a lot more mature. People look up to him. He’s like a leader, y’know?”
Xander listened with a frown that only deepened the longer I spoke. That protective glint in his eyes, the one I noticed after we had sex last night, was back and shining brightly.
“And?” Xander prompted.
I shrugged. “And I’m just… me. Annoying, loud-mouthed me. A burden.”
Xander growled. “I’m not going to deny that you have a loud mouth, or that you annoyed the daylights out of me when I first met you. But who said you were a burden?”
“Well, nobody, but—”
“Stop.”
Xander’s command was so firm, so sure of himself, that I obeyed. He lifted his hand to caress my cheek.
“I don’t want to hear that ridiculous idea again,” he said. “Is that understood?”
At any other time, I might’ve laughed at how serious he sounded, but right now, it was exactly what I needed. A wave of emotion hit me and I nodded with barely contained tears in my eyes.
I dunno what came over me. I buried my face in his chest and let him hold me as I tried not to cry, and ultimately failed. Maybe it was the stress of the past few days catching up to me, but tears flowed. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried, except maybe a couple happy tears shed when my niece and nephews were born.
As I cried, Xander was my rock. He rubbed my back with his large, warm hand and didn’t move as I used him as a big muscular wall to lean on. It felt good to just dump my feelings on him. It was a release I didn’t know I needed.
“Ugh,” I said when my eyes dried up, “I needed that. Sorry for getting snot and tears on you.”
“It’s fine. I don’t care.”
I sighed heavily as the crying-demon left me. “Phew. I’ve never cried like that in front of anyone.”
Xander sounded surprised. “Not even your brothers?”
“Nope. I mean, as a baby I probably did, but not as an adult. It’s weird, now that I think about it. It’s not like I don’t trust Dax and Hugo.” I glanced up at Xander. “But with you, it’s different. Like I’m not embarrassed about anything. With you, I can just…be.”
