Noro nodded grimly. “I understand.”
Colton glanced at the window. Evening stirred outside. “It’s getting dark. He should’ve been back by now, right?”
The answer was on my tongue, but I didn’t want to say it. I didn’t want to make my fears any more real than they already were.
“Matheson, calm down,” Eric said gently. “I’m sure he’s fine. This is Ramsay we’re talking about. The guy’s as tough as nails.”
I nodded but it didn’t make my nerves any better. Ramsay wasn’t the type to run off, especially not without telling me. When I’d been arguing with Eric, and when Colton had left me, Ramsay was the only one continuously by my side, unwavering and loyal. Now, without him here, my heart ached with a sudden and sharp pain. I felt guilty that I hadn’t thought about him since this morning, since I kissed him and he’d run off into the woods with his tail streaming behind him.
I made for the stairs, my skin prickling with apprehension.
“Matheson, wait,” Eric growled. He lunged forward and grabbed my arm. “It’s too dark for you to go running off on your own.”
I whirled on him. Fear and frustration made my temper flare and I snapped, “Like you always do?”
Eric’s mouth was tight but he didn’t argue. “I know you’re scared, but please try not to overreact. Ramsay is a grown man, an alpha wolf shifter, and he knows his way around nature better than anyone. Give him a little more credit.”
I jerked my arm out of his grip. “I’m not overreacting. One of my mates is missing and you’re telling me to calm down?”
“Yes, I am,” Eric said calmly.
His stoicness irritated me. Why wasn’t he as upset about this as I was? Why wasn’t anyone else as worried? I looked to Colton, Ramsay’s best friend. Even he didn’t seem as anxious as me. I hesitated, wondering for a moment if Eric was right and if I really was blowing things out of proportion.
As if reading my mind, Colton put a hand on my shoulder. “Eric is right,” he said gently. “Ramsay isn’t weak.”
“Then why hasn’t he come back?” I asked, my voice coming out more like a pathetic mewl than I’d intended.
“I don’t know. But I know you running out on your own in the middle of the night won’t help him.”
Somehow the words sounded more reassuring when Colton said them. I sighed. Maybe they were right. Maybe the stress of everything piling on top of me was starting to wear me down. I’d spent multiple nights without Eric and Colton sleeping next to me. I could survive a single night without Ramsay, too.
“Fine,” I finally mumbled. “But in the morning, we’re going to look for him.”
“All right,” Eric said.
The evening died down after that. Eric showed Noro to the guest room--the one I’d stayed in for a few nights when I initially came to stay with Eric--and Colton, Eric and I curled up in bed early.
But even with both of them flanking me on either side, I felt incredibly lonely. I couldn’t get my mind off Ramsay, and why he hadn’t returned to the house. An anxious, guilty part of me hoped I hadn’t been paying less attention to him than the others, and inadvertently pushed him away. My heart ached at the horrible thought.
I realized with cold desperation that this was the first night I’d ever slept without Ramsay next to me since I’d formally taken all three alphas as mates. I loved all of them equally, and they were all special and important, but Ramsay was my first love.
I shut my eyes and wished for sleep to hurry up and take me so the morning would come faster.
