Theo was returning the favor, looking at my face now. I became cognizant of how close we sat, not even an arm’s length apart. My heart fluttered and my cheeks grew warm. The experience was strange.
Why did Theo have this effect on me?
“What are you staring at?” Theo asked curiously.
“You,” I said immediately, then added, “I’m not staring. I’m blinking at a normal human pace. See? If anyone’s staring, it’s you.”
Theo grinned, then forced himself to blink. It was an exaggerated motion that looked silly and made me chuckle.
“Have you always been so handsome?” he asked suddenly.
My heart flipped. “Huh?”
Theo reached out and touched my face. I inhaled a sharp, quick breath. His pleasantly cool fingers contrasted with the warmth of my cheeks. He stroked me like I was a piece of off-limits fine art on display at a museum--like he wasn’tsupposedto be touching me.
“You smell really good, too,” Theo mused, his voice quiet. “Weird.”
I froze, unable to do anything except stare at him with wide eyes as he stroked my face. Nobody had ever touched me so tenderly before.
“Let me see without these,” Theo said as he reached for my glasses. “Can I?”
I nodded slightly. Theo carefully removed my glasses, setting them aside. My eyes refocused, sharpening the image of him in front of me.
I took in his features like he was a work of art, a living sculpture. He was masculine yet soft, his pale skin nearly glowing in the darkness. He was unreal--unnaturally handsome. Without realizing, I tipped closer to him so that our noses nearly brushed. When I noticed our proximity, I drew back with a quiet gasp.
Theo looked a bit disappointed.
“Can I ask you something?” he said.
I nodded again.
“You don’t have a boyfriend, do you?”
The question took me off guard. “No.”
“A girlfriend?”
“Nope.”
Theo tilted his head. “Any partner of any other gender?”
“Uh.” I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly feeling shy. “I’ve never dated before, actually. Like, at all.”
Theo seemed surprised. “Really? But you’re so cute.”
My cheeks warmed and the turn into intimacy this conversation had taken made my heart race. “I was busy all the time, with studying and shadowing doctors and internships. I never had the time to do, er, frivolous stuff.”
Theo frowned. “Dating’s not frivolous.”
I knew I’d said the wrong thing. “N-no, I mean… Well, I guess I thought so at the time.”
“But not now?” Theo offered, slightly raising a brow.
“No. Maybe not.” I stared down at the comforter and my own fidgeting hands.
What was wrong with me? I knew sexuality and dating were a normal part of people’s lives, but when it came to myself, it couldn’t reconcile it. I always just assumed I would never have a relationship because I was always too weird, or too busy.
And it wasn’t like Theo was actually interested inme.
