“Felix, you can’t be serious,” Elijah exclaimed. “I seriously can’t believe this.”
“It’s the truth,” I admitted. My cheeks burned with shame, both at my past situation and the fact that Elijah thought it was ridiculous. “Omegas from wealthy families, and with higher standing, they can afford to be more . . .Confident, I guess? They can afford to have opinions and speak their minds.”
Elijah was shaking his head in dismay. “No offense to your parents, but this is unbelievable. You’re telling me they basically offered you as a babymaker and a housekeeper to a guy you barely knew, if at all?”
“It sounds bad when you say it like that.”
“It sounds bad because it is.”
I sighed and curled up tighter, like if I became small enough I would simply disappear.
“All I’m saying is, it’s not right. You’re a person, not a label,” Elijah growled. “Do you think of me as broken because I’m blind?”
I whipped around, horrified. “No!”
“Then how do you think I feel when you call yourself useless? Broken?” Elijah asked. “Do you think it’s fair to demean yourself like that?”
I bit my lip. “No.”
“You’re saying no, but I want you to reallybelieveit.” Elijah wrapped his arms closer around my body so that we were flush against each other as he spoke gently in my ear. “Can you at least try to do that?”
My throat felt tight and dry, but I nodded. “I’ll try.”
“Good. No more calling yourself useless or broken just because you can’t bear children.”
I didn’t know if it was my anxious imagination or not, but I thought I heard a hint of sadness in Elijah’s voice. Even if it was just paranoia, my worries from earlier in the week flooded back anyway, and I knew that as painful as it was, if I didn’t clear it up now I would deeply regret it later.
“Elijah?” I asked quietly.
“What is it?”
My voice caught in my throat, like a petrified mouse in the jaws of a wolf. After gathering my courage, I forced the words out.
“When we had sex the first time, you acted like you didn’t care that I was infertile. But how do you really feel? I mean, most alphas want children, don’t they?”
Elijah hesitated, and my heart sank.
All his words meant nothing,I thought in a panic. My doubts reformed, creeping into every corner of my mind.
“I would say,” Elijah began slowly, “that most alphas also don’t want to lose their vision due to degenerative disease. But life doesn’t always go the way we plan, does it? So we have to deal with what we have instead of wishing for things that don’t exist.”
“So youdowish I could have children,” I blurted out. Then I realized with cold dread that I wasn’t even sure how serious Elijah thought our relationship was. I hung my head, wanting to curl into a ball and disappear.
Elijah’s expression was severe. “That’s not what I said at all, and you know it, Felix. Don’t put words in my mouth.”
I exhaled shakily. He stroked my hair to calm me down.
“Do I want a family? Yes. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t,” Elijah said.
I shut my eyes.
“But I want a family withyou.”
I gasped as my eyes snapped open. I whipped towards him, my heart racing.
“You do?” I said, my voice trembling.
His expression softened. “Yes, Felix. But we’re not cavemen in prehistory. We live in modern times. There are plenty of options. Adopting, surrogacy . . .And that’s only assumingyouwant children as well.”
