“Stop, Griffin. Just stop talking for a second.” Rafael jammed his fingers into his temples. “Are you hearing yourself? You’re stuck in a loop, man!”
I glared at him. “I’m not. You just don’t get it. Just because he says he’s keeping the pregnancy doesn’t mean anything.”
If I were at home in bed and not in my office, I probably would have curled my legs up to my chest like a child.
Rafael shook his head. “No offense, man, but you’re being crazy. You’re stuck in the damn past.”
I shot to my feet. “How can Inotbe, Rafael? Think about that for a minute instead of accusing me! I knew Heath better than anyone, and he still ran off with my money! We were supposed to be happy, but he obviously wasn’t. And I know one thing for damn sure, and it’s that neither Heath nor Jake want a baby!”
Dead silence. Rafael just watched me with a frown. He shook his head ever so slightly and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.
“Let me ask you something,” he finally said after a moment. “Do you want a baby, Griffin?”
“Yes,” I cried. “Why are you even asking me that question? That’s all I’ve wanted for years now. A family and a baby.”
“Then why are you pushing Jake away?” Rafael demanded.
I stopped like the world had been flipped upside down.
“What?” I said. “I didn’t push him away.”
Rafael barked a laugh. “Okay. You were the one who said you ran out of his apartment, but sure.”
I wanted to be angry with Rafael for his callous tone, but now I was just confused and disoriented.
“I - I didn’t push him away,” I repeated. “I just knew he was going to - ”
“To what?” Rafael interrupted. “Griffin, you don’tknow. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.” His voice softened as he added, “You’re afraid. I get it. You don’t want the same thing that happened with Heath to happen with Jake.”
My heart ached like it had been stabbed.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” Rafael said.
I couldn’t, but admitting it out loud would make it real. Making it real would mean Jake and I actually had a chance together, but hoping for that and later finding out it wouldn’t happen would crush me.
“Stop doing whatever you’re doing,” Rafael said, interrupting my racing thoughts. “Just get out of your head for a second.”
I bit my lip hard enough for the pain to snap me out of it. Rafael pat my shoulder firmly.
“You gotta stop panicking the instant the something goes wrong,” Rafael said. “If you ever want to have a good relationship again, you have to take a minute and relax. Okay? Breathe.”
Shutting my eyes, I took a deep breath, then let out a long exhale. To my surprise, it helped me feel a bit better, if only slightly.
“When did you suddenly become my therapist?” I mumbled.
“I watch a lot of Dr. Phil,” he said with a grin. “Now, do you want to make this work with Jake? Whatever you two have? Because when I talked to Jake, he said you two weren’t dating. But I dunno, man. It kind of seems that way to me.”
I frowned, remembering what Skylar said. “Jake’s roommate said the same thing to me. Do we really seem that close?”
Rafael shrugged and nodded. “We didn’t talk for long, but even in that short conversation, I could tell he cared about you. When I told him to let you down easily, he took it to heart. He cares for real.”
The image of Jake’s face flashed in my mind. My chest tightened.
Was Rafael right? Was I overreacting? I didn’t know. But I did know that he had unearthed a tiny glimmer of hope, like a gem among the burnt ashes, and right now, it was all I could do to grab hold of it and not let go.
“So what are you gonna do?” Rafael asked. “If he’s pregnant, are you gonna step up?”
“Of course,” I growled. “That’s not even a question. If he’s bearing my baby…” The idea of it made me pause because of how overwhelming it felt. “Then nothing’s going to stop me from taking care of them.”
