It was almost too painful to believe what I was hearing was the truth, but deep down I knew it was real. I realized with a twist in my gut that the story explained the distant pain that sometimes flickered in Griffin’s eyes, and why he was so fiercely protective over our pregnant cat.
With a barely contained whimper, I brought my knees up to my chest. I didn’t speak, and neither did Rafael for a while.
“So,” Rafael finally said, “that’s why you can’t tell him. It would kill Griffin to go through something similar a second time. You get it, right?”
He shot me a pleading look.
“Yeah,” I replied. Then the panic from before began to bloom again, and I asked, “But what am I supposed to do?”
Rafael shrugged. “You do what you want. It’s your body, and you said you and Griffin aren’t dating to begin with. If you only had sex twice, maybe you can just break it off now and never see him again. That would probably be the best option.”
But for some reason, hearing those words didn’t soothe me as much as I hoped they would. An immensely heavy decision weighed on my shoulders and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“Do youwantto be pregnant?” Rafael asked.
I hesitated - then I was shocked at myself. At any other time, I would have repliednoinstantly. Why did I pause? What was I thinking about?
“Just a word of warning, though,” Rafael began, “if you’re gonna break things off with Griffin, do it as soon as possible. His anniversary of his breakup with Heath is coming up next week, and he’s already going to be in a shitty state of mind. I think the longer you wait, the worse it’s gonna mess him up.”
Next week…
“Wait,” I said. “Are you telling me his ex did all of that shit on fucking Valentine’s Day?”
Rafael nodded grimly.
“Oh my god,” I groaned in disgust. My insides boiled with anger at the nerve of that guy. Then with a gasp I remembered something. “Shit.”
“What?”
I slapped a hand to my forehead. “Fuck… We have a vet appointment for the cat the day after Valentine’s Day. We’re both listed as her owner.”
Rafael shrugged. “You can take her, right?”
“You don’t understand. Griffin loves that cat. He just called me on the phone so he could ask about buying her a hundred dollar bag of cat food.”
Rafael’s eyes bulged out of his head as he sputtered, “A hundred dollars? Holy shit! What’s in the bag,gold?”
“Exactly,” I mumbled.
Everything made sense to me now. Griffin’s minor space-out the day at the vet when we were asked to confirm the date of Lilith’s next appointment, and his complete dedication to her. He was completely dedicated to helping Lilith through her pregnancy, no matter what the cost.
“I think… he’s using the cat and her pregnancy to live out the life he never got to have with Heath,” I said.
Rafael nodded grimly. “I agree. But Jake, what about you? What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I replied quietly. “I just need some time to think.”
“Okay,” Rafael said, “but remember that you don’t have that much time.”
“I know, okay?” I snapped. “It’s my problem, not yours!”
Rafael winced and I immediately regretted shouting at him. I groaned in exasperation. “Sorry. This is all a lot to process.”
“It’s okay. I get it,” he said. “Well, I don’t really, since I’m an alpha and I can’t go through what you’re going through, but…”
He trailed off sheepishly and couldn’t find the words to continue. Despite my general distaste for alphas, I found myself smiling at him and even enjoying his presence.
“Thanks anyway,” I said. “It helped a little bit to just get this stuff off my chest.”
