Hearing that snuffed out the small flicker of jealousy in my gut when I’d asked the question originally. So he never moved on. I should have felt bad. To be alone in this world was horrible, but knowing Kass never fell in love with someone else filled me with a sick satisfaction. Like if I wasn’t good enough for him, then no one else would ever be.
Am I… glad that he never moved on?
I realized that, yes, I was glad.
Gods, I’m a shitty person.
“I lost track of time. Didn’t do much.” Kass continued speaking when I was lost in my thoughts, and I immediately snapped back to attention. “I barely left the cave most days.” He looked around him with a grimace. “It looked a lot like this one, so I can’t say I’m thrilled to be here, honestly. It reminds me of living… that way.”
“Depressed?” I offered.
Kass paused, then said, “Yes.”
The fire crackled. I’d lit the fire - with considerable effort, since my magic was still drained - after Luce left, since I didn’t want him to know I was a mage yet. Even after all their talk aboutthe great Halo Fire-Eater, I still held on tightly to that wariness to use magic in front of others. The wariness that Kass and the Knights instilled into me.
I looked at him now - Kassius, my former mate and the man who ruined my life, sitting with his knees against his chest, sullenly staring into the fire with an exhausted expression. Now I could clearly see the dark rings under his eyes, and for the first time, I noticed the new creases in his face - ones that hadn’t been there when I disappeared.
He’s aged,I thought.
Dragons aged roughly the same way humans did until maturity, and then a dragon’s human form essentially ceased to age. Their appearance was shaped by the individual’s own wishes and mentality. Some went for a gruff, older look. Others assumed an appearance in their twenties.
Kass was a few years older than me, and generally looked like it - but now I could see the years of depression and stress had taken a toll on his mental health, and therefore, his face. Away from the foxes and no longer wearing his confident facade, in the darkness of the cavern, he looked so lonely and small.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to see him like this.
I walked over to his side and sat down so our legs were touching. He stiffened slightly, then relaxed a moment later. We didn’t speak as we watched the fire crackle and dance.
With a movement so slow I almost didn’t notice, Kass outstretched his palm on his knee. It was meant to be casual, but I knew. I sensed the silent, desperate plea of this tiny action.
He doesn’t want to be alone anymore.
I took his hand in mine. A small, barely audible sigh left Kass’s lips.
Our problems weren’t over. I was still pissed at him, and he was probably still angry with me. A maniac was out there trying to get his hands on me, and I had no idea who was taking care of my daughter.
But right now, feeling Kass’s warmth washed over everything else. This was what we both needed.
This was enough.
