15
Scar
Angel was gone.
Ryu was gone.
Once again, I had nothing left except the Drunken Dragon. So that’s what I focused on. Every single day in the two weeks since the incident with Mav on the street, I went to work. I worked. I came home. I slept. Rinse, repeat.
House chores didn’t get done. Why did it matter anyway? My apartment was lousy compared to Ryu’s, and it wasn’t like there was a young child to think about anymore. I could live in squalor all I wanted. It wasmydamn life.
Ryu didn’t contact me. I didn’t care, anyway.
But there was one problem. We had sex. Even though I wasn’t in heat at the time, there was still the possibility that I was pregnant.
Part of me didn’t want to check. I didn’t want to know the truth. Maybe in six months I’d have a pleasant surprise, and if I didn’t, then I could just continue on with my miserable life.
But the honest part of medidwant to know. It wasn’t fair to a potential child for me to ignore them until their birth.
Fine,I thought,I’ll get a pregnancy test on the way home from work tonight.
With only the smallest glimmer of hope burning in the dark abyss of depression, I got dressed and left for the bar.
* * *
Takingorders and running the ship came mechanically to me by this point. Work itself was a decent way for me to zone out and forget about the dark emotions threatening to consume me. At least his way I forced myself to get out of the bed and enter the real world.
It still didn’t make it any easier.
“Hey, Scar. Grab me a scotch, will ya?”
I slowly came back to my senses at the voice. Nate leaned one elbow on the counter and shot me a good-natured smile. But it quickly faded when he saw my expression.
“Hey… You don’t look so good, man. Are you sick?” he asked.
Mumbling, I grabbed the bottle of scotch. “Something like that. Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.”
Nate’s frown remained. “Hang on, where’s your kid? Angel, right? I thought you brought her to work with you, and that other guy was your nanny or something.”
I winced at the mention of both the people I’d lost.
“Well, they’re gone, okay?” I said, more snappishly than I meant. Nate flinched, and I regretted it. I didn’t want to push away the single person who still wanted to talk to me. “Sorry. It’s just been hard lately.”
But Nate seemed sympathetic. “It’s okay, man.” He paused, phrasing his question gently. “Did something… happen to them?”
A cruel voice in my head thought it would have been easier if theydiddie. But I was horrified to even think that. I shook myself.
“No, they’re alive,” I told Nate. “It’s just complicated.”
He offered a shy smile. “Might be easier if you talk about it?”
I appreciated his gesture, but every word out of my mouth already felt like a herculean effort. Still, I couldn’t afford to turn down his kindness.
The old Scar would have,I realized.But I can’t act like that anymore.
“Her biological parents are shitstains,” I growled. “They took her from us.”
“You said she’s adopted right?”
