Ryu seemed to understand my point. He rubbed my back comfortingly. “Don’t think too much about it. He probably didn’t mean it that way.”
I shot him a sharp look. “Well, what way did he mean it, then? Because I can only think of one.”
Ryu’s voice was calm and level. “And what is that?”
“That he thinks I’m too ugly to have a biological baby of my own!” I snapped.
I paused, realizing how loud I’d been. Thankfully, the raucous noise of the bar was louder than my outburst.
But Ryu looked horrified—and almost angry. “You’re wrong. Again. How many times do we have to have this conversation, Scar?”
“I don’t know, maybe until you get it through your thick skull,” I mumbled. The rude comment came out without thinking, and I instantly regretted it. But Ryu wasn’t put off by it—it rolled past him like water on dragon scales.
“Why don’tyouget get it through your thick skull?” he growled back. “Did you miss the memo from about five minutes ago? I’m tired of you calling yourself ugly, or thinking you’re undesirable.”
“But—”
The sharp glare on his face made me reconsider my retort. I shut my mouth. But the frustration in his expression melted away to sympathy. He put his warm hand on top of mine.
“Scar, you’ve created a mental wall in your mind, blocking yourself off from confidence,” Ryu said. “Let me help you tear it down.”
“How can I when I don’t look like everyone else?” I shot back. “Do you know how hard it is for me to live when everyone stares at me and thinks I’m a freak? People look at me like I’m diseased!”
“That’s their fault,” Ryu said seriously. “Not yours.”
“You’re wrong,” I muttered, glancing away. “Itismy fault. Everything is my fault.”
The dark thoughts crawled up and threatened to choke me. The horrible memories rose to the surface of my mind, and soon I would drown in them, like I always did when I remembered what happened to me. Clenching my eyes shut, I wished they would just go away.
But Ryu wouldn’t let that happen. He squeezed my shoulder. “Scar. Tell me what happened. Please.”
“I can’t,” I muttered.
“Yes, you can. I’m right here with you. Nothing can hurt you—not anymore.”
I swallowed hard. The words scratched my throat, difficult to spill. I hadn’t spoken them to anyone in a very long time.
Ryu squeezed my hand.
I’m not alone anymore. He’s here for me.
I exhaled a shaky breath. “Okay.”
Ryu tensed, then nodded, ready to hear my story.
“It was fifteen years ago, when I was younger and much stupider,” I began. “I don’t know how much you know about my original pack—Stoneheart—but it wasn’t like Cinderhollow. It was a place of cowards and stifling rules. We lived in constant fear of the human raiders outside the walls. Instead of fighting them like proud wolf shifters, they caged themselves inside like rats.”
“Gabriel told me. It sounds terrible,” Ryu said with a grimace. “Why didn’t they just fight off the humans like you said?”
“They were too afraid,” I spat. “The elders thought it was worth living a safe, stagnant life within walls rather than potentially dying to the humans.”
Ryu looked like he had a question on his tongue, but held it. Instead, he said, “They must have truly been awful humans. I remember when Lorenzo had a wounded wing when he returned from fighting them with Gabriel.”
I snorted. “He got off easy. Not like me.”
Ryu frowned, looking embarrassed at his comment, but it didn’t bother me.
“I was getting to that part anyway,” I said. “Anyway,Iwas the one who made the mistake of trying to get out of Stoneheart. Breeding season came and the omegas went into heat. In Stoneheart, omegas didn’t have a choice. You were expected to breed with an alpha. So fun and progressive,” I added sarcastically.
