“Victor!” I gasped, shooting up. “Are you okay?”
“No!” The force of his voice, mixed in with his bear’s snarl, froze me. I watched him struggle to control himself, to keep his bear locked inside, and my heart broke. Your bear wasn’t supposed to be stifled or hidden. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
“Victor,” I murmured.
“Just leave me alone,” he rasped. Staggering down the hall, he disappeared into the bedroom and slammed the door.
My knees shook. I slumped back on the couch, helpless and weak. The one thing I should have been able to help Victor with, and I couldn’t even do that properly.What good was I?
Dark thoughts stormed in my mind. A horribly familiar sense of dread crashed over me like a black wave. The hope I’d felt earlier was gone, leaving me empty and alone, with only a sense of helplessness.
I got off the couch and walked numbly to the door.
Maybe Victor was better off without me.
14
Victor
Ichoked backa snarl erupting from my bear as I threw myself on the floor. My head felt like it was splitting open, like a death trap opening up in the earth. My body threatened to tear at the seams. My bear roared.
“No!” I snapped, slamming my head against the floor. “Don’t come out! Not now, not ever!”
I felt crazy, screaming alone in my room. But I wasn’t alone; I never truly was. Not with this demon inside me. I wished more than anything I could rip it out and be done with this. I didn’t want to be a bear shifter. I just wanted to be a normal human being.
My bear fought back. It roared again and slammed against the barriers of our consciousness, furious and slathering. I couldn't remember a time where it was ever this angry, and that scared me. But it also gave me even more reason to hold it back.
Liam’s words rang in my head.“Don’t fight it. Let it out.”
“No!” I growled. He didn’t understand. Nobody did. This bear was nothing but a curse, and I was the only person who understood that.
My frame trembled as my heart pounded in my chest. Sweat poured down my temples. My body felt unimaginably heavy and I was struggling to keep myself up. I elbowed the floor, refusing to give in. I had to win this fight no matter what.
You can’t win.
I gasped and spun around. “Who said that?” But it wasn’t Liam’s voice, and I was the only one in the room.
Don’t fight me, Victor.
The voice sounded like mine, but with a strange animal-like quality. Then, in horror, I realized it was coming from within me.
“Who are you?” I snapped.
You know who I am, the voice replied.
“Don’t talk to me,” I muttered. I shut my eyes, forcing out my senses, but in the blackness of my mind, the image a bear appeared and wouldn’t fade. It stood, huge and bulky, and stared directly into my eyes. It was like looking at a horrible reflection of myself.
Why do you reject me?The bear asked.
“Get out of my face.”
You know you can’t get rid of me.
“I wish I could,” I snarled. “I don’t want anything to do with you.”
Why?
“You ruined my life!” I snapped. Electricity crackled in the air. For a moment I thought my bear would lunge at me and claw me to shreds. I think I half wanted it. I wanted to fight. But instead, it only stared at me with blazing eyes.
