“Victor,” he said. Some of the frustration in his eyes softened. He held out a hand. “You helped me before. Now let me help you.”
My bear thrashed inside me, confused and upset. I felt hot, almost dizzy. My mind was fogging up. I had to get out of here, clear my head.
“I have to go,” I growled.
Liam reached for me. “Victor, wait!”
I wrenched myself out of his grip and left the apartment, slamming the door.
* * *
The deep breathsthey tell you to take when you’re upset weren’t working. There was still a white hot flame burning inside me. My bear clawed at the surface, roaring in frustration.Not now.
A cold wind whipped my face. I grunted and shoved my hands in my jean pockets as I wandered down the street. The sun had set long ago, and despite my natural shifter warmth, it was starting to get cold. The streets were emptying as people hurried to their homes. Their loved ones.
I growled and kicked a can glinting on the sidewalk. I had no more home, no more loved ones. Every time I closed my eyes and tried to shut out the world,hewas there. Tristan’s face, his smile, in my mind’s eye, just achingly beyond my reach.
I missed everything about him. His voice, his laugh, his scent. I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. I hadn’t let myself think about him in so long. It was like a drug and I kept coming back for more even though everyone around me was telling me to stop.
They don’t understand.
I growled and turned, heading for the pier. Past the rocky shores was a lake, and the wind drifted its murky cold scent towards me. It was chillier by the water, but I welcomed the distraction. Water birds drifted on its surface without a care in the world. I almost wished I was one of them.
I sat on the edge of the pier, letting my legs dangle over the waves. From time to time the water would spray across my shirt and sink into my skin. I smirked, thinking about how a human would have needed to go back for a jacket by now.
My face fell at the thought. If I was human, Tristan would still be with me.
I growled and punched the pier. The wood splintered and dug into my skin like tiny knives.
Despite all my efforts to forget, I would always remember the day Tristan left me.
* * *
We were overlooking the pier, leaning on the bars that people liked to park their bikes on. I asked the fatal question. “Can you keep a secret?”
Tristan turned to me and cocked an eyebrow. He swished his drink around playfully before taking a swig. “Depends what it is.”
“Come on, I’m serious,” I said, elbowing his arm.
“Of course, then,” he said. “What is it?”
I paused, looking down at the jagged rocks at the top of the shore. Lower down, the rocks turned smooth, worn away by the water. Green slimy lichen clung to them for dear life.
“Vic? You’re not gonna tell me you’re straight, are you?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Nothing like that, don’t worry. I’m about as gay as they come.”
He grinned. “Go on.”
A water bird cried overhead in the evening sky.
“Tristan,” I began. “I’m not what you think I am.”
He mock gasped, pressing a hand to his chest. “You’re not really a firefighter?”
I rolled my eyes. “You got me there.”
“Come on, Vic,” he said, shoving me. “What’s this big secret that you can’t tell me?”
