Wait, really? No. No, that’s not true. Just at camp.
Except there’s the time on the sofa, back in our rental. And the night before. And when we worked on the film together and I caught him watching me. Crap, I fantasized about him even back then, didn’t I? But I figured everyone did it. I figured…
I’m rubbing my clit now, fast and hard, thinking about how it felt when he picked me up last night and took me back to his place. The caveman thing really does it for me.
The breeding thing. The come. That’s something I’ve thought about before, too. It’s bringing the orgasm closer very, very fast now. My clit’s so swollen and sensitive, I back off, thinking about the way he stared down there, with his come dripping out. And his words.
Goddamn it. Got to unload soon, baby. Can’t take much more of this. Not like this.
I groan. I mean, what the hell is wrong with me that his crass language turns me into a writhing mass of nerve endings, when the sweetest, poetic words from past boyfriends left me totally cold?
I rub harder, faster, fuck myself with my left hand, imagine it’s him, fucking me, taking me, making me, which… oh, god, why do I want that? Why?
A few more strokes and I’m coming, hard, high, my pussy contracting around my fingers, my mind swirling in the morass of all the stuff we’ve done. The good, the bad, the absolutely filthy.
It takes a minute to come down. I concentrate on the feel of my pulse in my clit and stretch out, languid, hot, light…happy.
Happy.
And, when I dig deeper, I understand that I am truly happy for the first time in forever. Here, amongst the Owners and Pets and Bigs and Littles and Doms and subs and Sadists and Masochists. I mean, gosh, aren’t they allhappy? Isn’t that what this is about? Being true to your beautiful, messed-up inner self, no matter how flawed it is?
When I think back to the night I got here… What was that, five days ago? Four? I thought I knew about kink, but I had no freaking idea.
I didn’t know, for example, what sounding was, or blood play or wax play. I had no idea that kink and sex didn’t always go hand in hand. I’d never accidentally walked in on an orgy or watched someone get their testicles abused or suffer through a chastity belt or a penis cage. They want it. All of it. The pain, the humiliation, the blood, sweat, piss, tears. They want the make-believe and the real. I want it, too, and it’s…beautiful.
Someone knocks on the bedroom door and I pull my arms under the blanket, embarrassed to be caught almost masturbating. “Twy? You okay? It’s Max.”
“Oh. Oh, hey! Yeah, I’m good.”
“I, um, I’ve been sent to get you ready.”
Ready? Ready for what? “Do I have plans?”
She gives a low, evil laugh. “I think you do.”
“I do?”
“I believe you signed up for a certain scene…”
“Oh my god.” I cover my eyes and groan. “I totally forgot about the kidnapping. I don’t know, Max. I’m not sure I should…”
“Can I open this door? Nothing will shock me.”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
She comes inside and I scoot over to make room for her on the bed.
“So,” she sits and then lies beside me, which is one of those easy, casual Max moves that makes me already love her so much. And reminds me of Gigi, who’d be practically spooning me by now. “What’s holding you back?”
I consider. “Honestly? Zion.”
“Mm hm.” She nods, slowly. “Because you think he’ll be jealous bringing a third into the mix or…”
“We got emotional last night. Both of us.” I get weak just thinking about it. “What if…I don’t know. What if he doesn’t want to do the scene? Or, even worse, what if he does the scene, but acts like last night never happened? What if…” I huff out a harsh breath.
“Okay. There are dangers, right? To scening the way you’re planning to scene tonight. Big, tough things. I honestly wouldn’t recommend this kind of play for everyone. But if you want to go through with it…”
I picture Zion, the way he was last night. At the flogging, in his cabin. This morning at the coffee shop. “I want to do the scene if he’s there.”
